Neo Black chapter 1 . 2/14/2006
Hey Tetsuya, since I am new to this whole forum and everything, I'll try to be nice. I've read some of your other stories and you have some "very" unique ideas. The only thing I think you need help on is organizing your ideas and not rushing into the next scence. Also, try to make your story flow so the reader can understand what is going on at that particular moment. Last but not least, check your grammer and punctuation errors. They will help the story be easier to read. Well, good luck in the future.