Reviews for An Unlikely King
dragon skale chapter 18 . 8/20/2013
This is great you should update
Mell8 chapter 18 . 11/1/2007
Please, please, please update this story! You've left it on a huge cliffhanger and I'm dying to know what happens.

Will Syos/Seom ever reveal himself to Trillan? What will Nadan and Krisiana think when they find out he's a noble? Will Trillan ever catch him? Will the rogues ever be caught? Am I sensing something besides camaraderie between Trillan and Syos?

There's so much more to finish and so many questions to answer. Please think about posting more!
The Escapist chapter 5 . 12/24/2006
I found a few mistakes in this chapter. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned them yet.


“You have my deepest apologies and my promise that when we capture this thief I will retrieve you necklace for you.” The second you should be 'you'

You kept writing "bust" instead of busy. There were a few others that were there but if you reread through the chapter then you'll find them.

Other than that, it was great.

-Kier Haliana
The Escapist chapter 3 . 12/24/2006
I think it's interesting how the other thieves and pickpockets don't realize that Syos is the king. Anyway, it was a good chapter. You described things weel. I'm a little envious about how you describe actions. I've been having problems with that lately.

-See ya!

Kier Haliana
The Escapist chapter 2 . 12/24/2006
Heh, Syos is a slippery one. It was another well written chapter. It kept me entertained. You have great story lines, by the way.

-Good day

Kier Haliana
The Escapist chapter 1 . 12/24/2006
Intriguing. There were a few commas that could be added but nothing major. The chapter is well written. Now I'm off to read the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
FXRG chapter 18 . 6/21/2006
Ooh...evil plotting person...XD I look forward to his scheme in action. As much as I love Syos, I love the scrapes he gets himself into. And still the person he favors hasn't come into light; I'm really excited about when that actually happens. :D

"...allow neither the rogue thieves nor not even the Guards..." The "not" doesn't look like it belongs there. ;
FXRG chapter 14 . 6/17/2006
Thief King Syos Seom...? XDDGetting better and better.
FXRG chapter 12 . 6/15/2006
Whoa, things just became even more interesting. Now I'm really curious about Syos' past/background. And I wonder who exactly it is he for the quick update, by the way. :3
warnthepenguins chapter 1 . 6/14/2006
I come bearing a cartload of commas! Use them as you will.

Dialectical speech is a no-no, especially when you replace "not" with "nawt." That's not a big enough difference to commit to writing - reading dialogue spoken by a whole-minded person should not make one imagine an imbecile with a cleft palate.
FXRG chapter 11 . 6/14/2006
Oh, things are getting very interesting, and really messy for the poor king. I really look forward to Trillan and Syos' meeting. :3
demiXgod chapter 7 . 6/12/2006
oh *that* was unexpected! there's a plot twist i didnt foresee at all. I like the system the thieves use, too, since they're way more organized than typical theiving guilds are.

Trillan's made a fair number of mistakes in this chapter (like the one at the end, mostly :P ) but I'm sure he'll wise up sooner or, well, *later*.

Syos is still the best.
Telephonic chapter 8 . 5/23/2006 they're all on the same side now? 0_o BUT I LIKED THEM AS ENEMIES! Trillians still great. Finally theres an 8th chapter! Gawd! I've been waiting since...the last chapter! xD.
Telephonic chapter 7 . 4/15/2006
*agrees with DNAngel comment* Thats what I thought when I started reading this.
Eva chapter 7 . 4/8/2006
I love ur story! Syos kinda reminds me of Dark from DNAngel _ Great characters, and word choice. There was one mistake i saw... but i got so enthralled with the rest of the story that I lost where it was . Can't wait to read more!
29 | Page 1 2 Next »