Reviews for One More Compromise
SpawnMeister666 chapter 41 . 6/4/2009
I was bored and started looking through my favorite stories list for something to read, and had no recollection of this story or why it was there, so it seemed like a good one to re-visit.

The critical side of me would like to point a couple of things out, such as LA being referred to as LAS Angeles instead of LOS throughout, and the occasional mix-up of character names, along with the odd typo or grammatical error.

All in all though, nothing that can't be fixed with very simple editing.

Apart from that though, this is a well told tale of the pressures of fame, and the things people do to get and keep it.

Characters are well rounded, from the selfish brat who is convinced she is a superstar who grows up and becomes a respected agent, to the ugly duckling who will try anything to get over the insecurities of her youth, the young man who is happy with his lot in life, and isn't caught up in all the madness, and finally the famous daughter who is determined to do things HER way...

A great, well written tale, and without doubt I now remember why i added it to my favorites list in the first place.

Spawny
Gerithel chapter 1 . 2/20/2007
The sheer scope of this is intriguing.

Interesting investigation into human nature.

Reminds me of a song "Lost in Hollywood" by System of a Down.

check it out sometime.
SpawnMeister666 chapter 42 . 10/9/2006
I really like this story. Character development, pacing, plot, everything works the way it should do.

I like the way that Betsy became uglier as a person the prettier she became on the outside, and that Danielle went the other way.

I also like the way you describe the way some agents behave, and how some people think that just appearing in a newspaper is the be all and end all of their existence.

There are some minor flaws, with names being mixed up occasionally and so on, but on the whole it's a superbly written story, and one to head straight on to my favorites list!

Spawny
SpawnMeister666 chapter 10 . 10/9/2006
I'm liking this so far. Will try to read the rest tomorrow and then leave a proper review.

Spawny
forty-two dreams chapter 41 . 6/22/2006
Oh, Betsy's growing up a little. Are you going to end this story soon?
forty-two dreams chapter 33 . 6/8/2006
Things are moving pretty quickly. It almost seems like Betsy can't fall in love; she can't forget about what's around her. But this story is getting quite drawing- like Betsy's soap operas, you kind of start depending on knowing what the characters are up to.

I just noticed the title of this piece. The characters have to compromise sometimes, but they know when to put their foots down and take a few risks.
forty-two dreams chapter 28 . 6/3/2006
Oh, I hope Betsy and George get to interact!
forty-two dreams chapter 27 . 5/31/2006
Everyone seems to be doing well. I wonder if Betsy can still act as well with her face changed- she isn't quite used to her new facial expressions yet, is she?
forty-two dreams chapter 24 . 5/26/2006
Oh, this is heating up nicely. It's kind of interesting how you move through their lives so quickly, covering a whole year in a few chapters. Poor Betsy! How come Sarah can drive at fourteen- does she live in Alabama or one of those other places that let people drive at a younger age?
forty-two dreams chapter 1 . 5/17/2006
This was nice, though slow in parts. I did read all the chapters, so it clearly keeps one's interest. One question, though- if George was originally a freshman and Lindsay a junior, how did George end up a sophomore while Lindsay was a freshman in college? Something went wrong with that timeline... It seems like you've had lots of experience with drama. Poor Danielle doesn't appear to be having much success.
Dinosaurie chapter 2 . 5/10/2006
This is good. I caught that it was The Crucible before you even said it. Nerdy.

Thanks for your review. I did wonder about the flow of that poem. I prefer the first half to the second but the first half does seem a bit out of place.
Faladon25 chapter 1 . 5/2/2006
Intricate already. Wonderfully done, love, with partial histories and all. I cannot rest until I finish you for your continued writings.
Naomi Chick chapter 1 . 4/29/2006
well i consider in thought but i did prooread it for i had post, and i tried not use so much slang.
elmoonfire chapter 3 . 4/24/2006
Hey, thanks for the reviews. In my (useless) defense, I'm highly influenced by anime, where characters randomly say corny things out loud for the melodramatic effect. But I'll get around to fixing that and everything else before I write the next chapter.

I like your writing style. High school stories are usually filled with fragments and dialogues that make me want to slap the authors, but this looks fairly decent. Good grammar helps, of course.

The only problem is that you may have misspelled the word "prologue," but for some reason I doubt it was unintentional. As for the content, the prologue is too rushed and is kind of out of place. You started out with Kristen Jensen as though the story would focus on her, but then it actually focuses on her daughter. Also, when I first read the first paragraph of the prologue, it seemed very literary-like an adult's reading material. Maybe you should write a complementary story starring Kristen Jensen. ;)
rrmehta364 chapter 5 . 4/12/2006
"Perhaps it was for the better that he didn’t have to worry about the details, but he’d been raised to believe that the man ran the date, and while he didn’t have problems with Lindsay making the major decisions, he wasn’t entirely sure what roll he was supposed to play." : I think the sentence might be a run-on. Even if it isn't a run-on, it seems a little long.

"“George,” Lindsay responded. “I asked you on this date. I’m not going to make you pay for it. Now sit still.”" : She sounds like she's talking to her son, and not a date.

I like how George analyzes every moment. Seems appropriate for his first date.

I liked this chapter, and as always, I'm looking forward to reading more.

-peace out.
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