Reviews for Why did you say That
RainbowJH chapter 1 . 8/21/2015
Wow! It's very deep! I loved the play with alliteration here - beautiful barbed wire word, sugar and spice needles and knives. There's a feeling of vagueness but at the same time reader gets the emotion and thoughts of the character. I can't find any fault with it, it's perfect! Also, the topic you've written about is different - love and paranoia. How you describe that he says something and his eyes say something different. Good job on this one! Keep up!
MaDMaS22 chapter 1 . 4/7/2007
Sweet little poem. its too early or late in the moring to be analizing... or spelling correctly. I like the quasi rhyme. Also the rhythm is easy to find but quickly lost. I kinda dont think it is consistant. but this is a free style poem after all. Well dome bravo.



I Will review more works later it is on my to do list I have not forgotten about you. Much love Good night.
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 3/29/2007
Oh, tragic. I like "every beautiful barbed wire word"

Good work.
Forsakn chapter 1 . 12/26/2006
Ooh, prettyful ending. And..

" "what"


you say something


"just kidding" "

So true!
ShadowFane chapter 1 . 11/10/2006
Interesting. I really liked it. Well done.

Charming Dice chapter 1 . 10/5/2006
This is pretty cool. Nice choice of words. This poem made me think, so it probably did its job. I'd critique further, but I know very little about poetry.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews. About my free writing story, I accept your criticism even though I strongly disagree. It was about a family dying together in a home in the forest. I named the parents, so why wouldn't I name their child who caused the destruction? I hoped people would read between the lines and understand the meaning of it all. I didn't expect everyone to get it though, since it was so short.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to give a serious review. Those are always appreciated.

Catch you next time,

Snake Eyes of aka Meteor-Infinity
Pink Sparrow chapter 1 . 9/8/2006
oh! i love the choppy rhythm! All the imagery is so beautiful, especcially love the 'beautiful barbed wire word' line. Nice work. loved it!
Kristina Suko chapter 1 . 8/30/2006
It's just a tad bit choppy, but I like the idea of it. It's frustrating sometimes, to know someone like that; I love the last few lines, showing how addicted the narrator is, but how painful the addiction is.

Thanks for your reviews. I wasn't tryiing to make Shattered Glass dreams have a certain rhythm or rhyme scheme- it actually wasn't meant to rhyme at all, but that's just how it came out. The only rhyme and rhythm it was supposed to have was the italicised lines.

D Maranwe Telrunya
Elf's Cry chapter 1 . 8/30/2006
Hi, me again... I reviewed your "Spiraling down into greatness" and then I just thought of something you might be interested... but then they only let me submit one review per story... so here am. Well, I was just reading this graphic book by Art Spielgelman (Who also published a very good book called MAUS... about his father's surviving experience in Holocaust... anyway...) called "In the Shadow of No Towers", it's about what happened in and after September 11th. It's somewhat like a comic, kinda weird though, but good surcastic truth in it. It has some strong opinions and I think you might want to take a look.
DemonicDestiny chapter 1 . 8/29/2006
You do put R & R I'll return the favor! lol. Right... The poem's awsome. It's really interesting how you say everything.
this poem is so true! it happens in real life and the way you put into words is awesome!
FoxyGrampa chapter 1 . 8/11/2006
That was pretty good as well. I'm glad you used a bit more analogies than you did in your earlier things, though. So it's not all just sentances spaced out between paragraphs, ne? It's good to put in some visuals and analogies and the such. That's what really makes it all a poem. n_n
Noihseret chapter 1 . 8/10/2006
it's like a story put into poetry format. you have such talent, rust phoenix! I really enjoyed this poem. it felt very profesional
Mischaw chapter 1 . 6/23/2006
WOW! That was awesome! I really loved it! Keep on writing this awesome stuff! (P.S, thank you for your review on "the Darkness"!
Accidentally on Purpose chapter 1 . 6/18/2006
Wow, this is goegeous. I love the ideas expressed in it, and some of the imagery is really wonderful- "beautiful barbed wire word"; "unflinching in your/sarcasm and individuality". Very nice.
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