kewls kewls. great chapter i can't wait to read the next one...kewls! i don't have to _ wells i'm happy.

hmmns this chapter can't help but make me wonder, is zeke's dad having and afair with ellie? hmmns so many questions, wells hopefully i'll get them answered in the next few chapters. if not it's still an awsomely well written story!

woah. such a great ending to the chapter. i'm glad zeke told zeke that he was gay...and yeah they really do need a nickname for them...wells it was a really well written chapter and i congradualate you on that!

i congradulate you on not only another great chapter but for being one of the few stories i've ever read where the chapters are long! _ thank you!

Well, you're definitely spinning a unique and capturing story here-I read part of the first chapter last night, and didn't have time to finish even that, but I came back and read the rest today. I must say that I'm attatched to your characters, particularly Sam and Zeke 1. Haha. Very realistic and interesting personalities.

One thing that's been getting to me from the start, or at least from the introduction of Zeke no. 2-trying to frickin' tell them apart. The first time Zeke 2 was narrating, it took me until mentions of Katie to realize any difference. All it did, though, was made me think, "Katie? Who's that?" It took me until they were talking to secretary in that chapter for me to get really confused. I didn't really realize that it was Zeke Wrigley narrating rather than Zeke 1. And I've still been confused ever since, trying to tell them apart, though they seem to alternate between chapters.

You might think of doing one of two-or perhaps both-of these things. 1: mention something earlier on in the chapter that makes it absolutely clear who's speaking; 2: create a more distinct difference between the voice of the two Zekes. Their narration reads very much the same at the moment, and it makes it really difficult to distinguish between the two. In other chapters, now that we know that Zeke 2 is the one who knew Katie, etc, it's been easier, but chapter two threw me quite a lot.

The voice of the characters would be stronger if you'd work on characterization a bit more. I've got a good feel for Zeke 1 by now, but I'm not empathizing much with no. 2 just yet. I like Sam and Lawrence, and I know them and can empathize with them much better, although the two Zekes really are the main characters.

I caught the mention of Catch-22 in there. (I've read that book, and I'm still not quite sure what to think of it. I suppose I should read it again, see if I can better establish an opinion.) This causes the reader to assume that Zeke 2 has read Catch-22. We aren't sure why-he might like to read, he might have been assigned it(though that'd probably only occur in an Honor's class.) Either way, you should make these things make a statement about the character. It would make sense, as we see that he is in a lot of Honor's courses. We can see that Zeke 2 is more of an analysist than Zeke 1. The difference in voice here, later on into the chapter, works. Try to get more of that in there-makes it easier to tell the voices apart. Now that we know for certain that this is the Zeke narrating, we can form better opinions of him.

We ought to know who would say that. And that's not to say that one of them can't be intelligent enough to come up with that comparison, but rather to say that even intelligent minds think differently, and I mean that by more than just WHO they think about (Katie vs. Charlie, etc.) So far the only big difference I see between the two is Zeke 2's intellectual thinking we see every now and then and who the narrator thinks about.

I must say, though, that I love those comparisons, such as Catch-22 and the talk of statistics, and so on. Just try to get a bit more difference between the two narrator's voices, and the narrative should be great; beside from the occasional confusion, the narrative is wonderful. It flows and is perfectly natural. That's one of the strengths you have that you should be very proud of.

And you're doing a wonderful job with the emotions. Very realistic, as I've said. You're really holding my interest. Sorry I've spent so much time going on about the voice. I tend to rant. 0.o It's a trait of mine. But anyway, I'm definitely enjoying this, and I'll be sure to check out the next chapter when it's posted! Keep up the good work.

i really like the chapter, its good. very descriptive with sensory details, and wells it has an awsome plot! good job!

I'm already signed in, but from now on I'll be doing the ann. thing, too. Because of such, I'll just make this a general review of the story so-far:

Though things have a tendency to get very confusing at times (which, actually, carries a good bit of verisimilitude with it), this is still one of, if not *the* best damn things I’ve ever read here. It’s full of emotion and energy. All the melodrama of high school sprinkled with a hint of quirky humor. It’s lovely.

Oh, I wish I had the patience and willingness to try to write such a thing…I’ve had ideas, but as with most of my multi-chaptered works, I sort of forgot about it and left it to wither away and die. This story makes me seriously want to sit down and work things out (as it’s obvious you’ve done).

I’m so jealous of you: you’re incredibly talented AND you’ve got an iPod. I should be so lucky!

Now, get back to work on this brilliant story!

Tara is awesome! yay strong women!

"damnit I had to check on her. I would not be responsible for the mental degradation of the entire Liam family. Where’s Danny? Maybe I should tell him he’s adopted. I shoved the book back into it’s space on the book case. I started walking slowly for the front door. What would I say to her? How could this not end misunderstood and terrible? So, now what?"

that whole part made no sense to me... why does he have to say anything to Tara? he didn't do anything wrong. he didn't do anything, so how could the whole thing end badly? it doesn't make any sense, unless he's grossly overreacting. And tell Danny he's adopted? what? where did that come from?

aside from the confusion, it was a great chapter! i have a really bad feeling that in the next part, Tara confronts their mother and outs Zeke. I hope i'm wrong.

*bows* thank you, i thought it was a pretty good idea too.

Update soon!

you got me hooked.

ah, thanks for that little reminder... hehehe...

Oh man, I know exactly what he means about not doing the wrong thing, but not doing the right thing either. I get into that situation all the time, where I just stay silent, and it makes me feel like a failure.

You changed the journal chapters, for the better i think. Were you actually listening to me? I'm honored!

I'm liking this confrontation. Where is it happening? IN school? at Zeke Liam's house?

Great chapter, update soon!

Wow. I like it a lot so far. Especially your characters and the way that everyone seems to be connected to everyone else somehow. It's fantastic~ I'd have to say that I'm pro ZekexZeke... call me weird but I think it'd be cool if two people with the same names were going out... but that's just me.

Also I'm wondering if Zeke's father is having an affair... it seems like something that might happen. And I'm wondering how the other Zeke is going to get out of Tara's grasp without any bruises lol. I can't wait to read the next chapter!

(P.S. sorry if my review was missing constructive critisism if you wanted any but I'm horrible at stuff like that so you'll have to forgive me... Sowy )

-DrownedDenial (Sandra)

Who is Tara? I liked the little history about Katie, Silas and Calvin. It explained a lot, and i'm dure it will be very relevent later. I am so glad you updated! I can't wait for the next chapter, I hope more will be explained.

Gettin' better and better. Don't stop, keep it comin'! Awesomeness of awesome. Totally awe-inspiring.

Kevin likes Ellie, doesn't he? or is it liked? too confusing. Anyways, on to the next chapter!

you changed the story, and now i can't review this chapter unless i do it anonymously, because according to Fictionpress "i already reviewed this chapter". stupid website. This chapter is pretty confusing, it starts out in a completely different time and/or place than i expected it to. also, i don't know anything about Zeke's dad or his job, so it's like "What meeting? What big thing is happening at work?" I do think it's interesting to hear about the past, but right now i really want to know WHAT HAPPENED AFTER HE CAME OUT TO ZEKE? you better plan on telling me eventually or things might get ugly.