Reviews for Robbery
die kleine maus chapter 1 . 10/1/2006
the last line was also the most powerful. I don't know, it brought all the emotion together, his character, her helplessness, your disgust. i haven't read your work in a long time, but i loved this, and i'm damned if i don't.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 9/15/2006
Holy shit, the emotion in this. Everything being so short and choppy really adds to the poem, and the part where she paused, I paused, too. It was like a scene in a movie where the person is frozen and the camera pans around her...(I watch too much TV, I know it.) Anyway, this is so nice. I can't believe your friend went through this. I hope she's alright. Keep writing! :)
Socially-Awkward chapter 1 . 5/4/2006
powerful, I like it
delete this page 109231 chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
a very realistic impression of a gun robbery and a stunningly good peice of poetry well done
Dr3am3r chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
wow, really good. did this really happened? write me back. I got some new peoms written, ur welcomed to read them tell others about me plz thanks
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
this is way less abstract than most of your works, but still extremely powerful and heartwrenching... amazing piece.. I hope your friend is ok
Windup Hopping Lederhosen chapter 1 . 3/13/2006
Very interesting work. I love the one word lines; very. . .I dunno, flowey and prominent. Excellent writing. KW F.P.
Rhianika chapter 1 . 3/10/2006
Wow, I like it. Usually I dont like short lines but this flowed really nice. The one word lines worked perfectly. Really nicely done. The end was especially good :)

Keep writing

Around.about chapter 1 . 3/7/2006
Passionate as always
GeekyChica chapter 1 . 3/7/2006
Beautifully crafted, yet shocking and horrifying at the same time. Because of what's happening, not how you wrote it. This is an unbelievably good poem that left me feeling miserable for society. And your friend.
vivavixation chapter 1 . 3/6/2006
Love the tension in this and how well you build up the story. Really interesting how you seem to be able to make a poem from anything. Good work!
Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 3/5/2006
How awful. I really liked the skill you used at putting this into poem format-and the ending is extremely powerful.

Beautiful telling of a terrible story. I'm glad your friend wasn't hurt, especially since she's pregnant.
like a lover chapter 1 . 3/4/2006
dark, scary, perfect. big and amazing.
helpless-pretender chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
Wow...That was so sad. I am so sorry for your friend, give her a hug and tell her I'll be praying for her...anyways...That was a really nice, but sad poem. Some people do really horrible things don't they? hope they baby's fine! Keep writing...p.s thanks for reviewing my poem
DaggerPen chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
Did this really happen? What is our world coming to? Good poem, though.
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