Reviews for Boy
strawberry memories chapter 1 . 4/2/2006
that was AMAZING! each and every one of those syllables had their own secret story to tell, or tale to spin. lovely. simply lovely.
lxpetrik chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
Oh, cute. Who hasn't done that?

You know I think since you SO many short poems, you should put them into one big collection. I like organization, so that;s the way I would go.
run rabbit run chapter 1 . 3/9/2006
good short sweet and neat...oh dur, thanks for the review but i didn't get what you meant with your comment... sorry... i mean i meant for the 'until's to be apart from the bodies... it's like a breath. guess i should've made the bodies into rambles or something anyway, thanks and i'll leave you alone now... cheers
ChasingPerfection chapter 1 . 3/8/2006
I like the parenthsis around dreams but I don't understand them around boy...nor do I understand the hypens (just for show?). and I'm sure someone else has pointed this out but as I haven't read the reviews page yet...isn't it "too caught up..."? Otherwise I like this piece, it seems very detached but not aloof - really the way this boy (or at least peple like him) comes across in real he's not being mean, just caught up in his own mind...
laughter at the funeral chapter 1 . 3/8/2006
i think the poem as a whole is really's really sweet...i think the second line is better if you say "won't smile when i walk by" instead of the one actually flows easier for me in this way...and i think its supposed to be too instead of to in the third line...

truly yours...
classic violet chapter 1 . 3/6/2006
oh, so beautiful. very beautiful.
La Gitane chapter 1 . 3/5/2006
I think you mean too, which is fairly crucial in a poem so short! I think this is an interesting take on a haiku - making a fairly uncomplicated structure more complex. Very interesting...
acrobia chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
Hum, interesting haiku. I think the subject fits the simplicity of a haiku, and the way you present it is clear and sophisticated, clean lines, I would say, in writing p I like the use of parenthesis too, and the last line "too caught up in (dreams)", fits well. Keep up the good work!xo - Acrobia
Aslan Israel chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
I love the detached feeling... m. lovely.
Theory Of The 4th Dimension chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
All I can say is, this an creepily too accurate porttrait of myself. And just for that, I'll add this to my favorites!
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
wow, flashback to two hours ago~ me love at first sight... it was scary~ good poem

keep writing!
a lonely september chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
is it supposed to be 'Too' caught up in dreams? maybe i'm just too stupid to get it. but it's pretty.
Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 2/23/2006
Interesting use of haiku. This conveys so much in just a glimpse. Good work.
Aquafied chapter 1 . 2/23/2006
, i adore this. it seems that happens a lot.

it reminds me of trying to walk by people and watch them but dont make eye contactor just being off in a dream
multiples of six chapter 1 . 2/23/2006
I like this... very cute )
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