|Reviews for A martyr's flick|
| she's not breathing chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
i lovelove this! before i start gushing, though, i need to say i think you deviated from your style as this progressed - the beginning had more imagery and vocabulary, with longer lines, and the end was nearly chopped staccato & blunt emotion - & that threw me off a little, but it was a very natural progression. it read as if it was intentional. there were a couple of places where you seemed to fall into rambling more than poetry, as if you were just writing words. um. like in the second-to-last-stanza; i'm not sure why you included it. though i did love the line about the clock still falling writhing inside the mouth. besides for that, this really blew me away. i love the dispairity in the imagery, love the personal connection. it's choking with personal connection. so most of it i don't understand as it pertains to you, but it fits together beautifully & is soso vivid. so lovely. the first two stanzas had me stopped dead. your imagery is beautiful & you have an amazing command over flow & phrasing. "Roses spit and spurn fiery mages/ thrust open the doors enchant the hearts/ repulse me with pure white tissue wrapped/ in a garland" - effing wow. & also how the break between the stanzas fell right in the middle of the sentence. that was love. there's also a ton of eternal rhyme in this, which was so brilliant. i read to the end before i even knew i had. it's so full of emotion & reality & it's so honest. it's amazing. really amazing. incredible work!