|Reviews for Ceasing|
| Rosanna28 chapter 1 . 4/1/2006
I didn't really get this when I first read it, and I'm still not really sure if I do now, but there's just something about this...I don't know, I'll have to get back to you on that _ No, I think you did a fantastic job! Keep writing!
Much love, Rosanna.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/25/2006
i dont like this...sorry.. I feel like I need to know why he did it & it just didnt flow right for me. I did like the whole her talking thing
| MrsFlames chapter 1 . 3/5/2006
Found on your profile:
"If you leave me a flame OR call my works Cliché… I will dislike you strongly"
"I am open for all ideas!"
Make up your mind. Are you sure you're open to "all" ideas? Or are you just open to ideas that are accompanied by flattering OMG U ROCK I LUV U messages? If your work is cliche, then it's cliche. There's no way getting around it, so get new ideas and phrases and write something that is not cliche.
"I am on the favorite Authors list of 44 people : - )"
Wipe that smile off your face. Being on the favorite list of 44 people does not instantly make you good. Most likely half of those people just read poetry for the first time, or they just have very low standards. And quantity never reflects quality. For example, reality shows are on the favorite list of a lot of TV viewers. Are they any good? Not really. Besides, most of those viewers are also not well-educated. Anyway, the analogy is there. So if you want don't mind being popular by writing IQ-lowering poetry, suit yourself and do ignore those "flames." If you want your poetry to be of high quality, on the other hand, ignore those empty praises instead and stop being so easily satisfied.
What do I think about this poem? The content itself, while confusing, is not cliche, but your phrases are. For example, "tears waiting to fall like a waterfall" is cliche, as is "heart breaks" and "acid rain."
But your inclination to be cliche is not your worst problem. As it is, this is not even a poem. To quote someone, this is "prose with line breaks" and maybe with missing commas and periods. This is too meaningless to be poetic. This lacks the depth needed to make it poetic. Your frequent use of fragments does not make this poetic. Your tendency to be too literal and tell everything to your readers doesn't help either. Try some imagery and metaphors, and show instead of tell.
If you don't like this review and decide to block me, be my guest. It doesn't change the fact that your poetry are still pedestrian and need some major work.
Oh, and last I checked, Satan existed only in storybooks and people's imagination. If you have to worship a nonexistent character, at least pick one who is not just another irritating, attention-seeking dissenter.
| poetic abortion chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
[i am so sorry i haven't reviewed in ages; i keep marking your unread and so, being an idiot, i over look them until weeks later. i swear, when i have more time and i am not running on so much caffeigne i'll review all the other poems i've skipped because, you know, it is rude and all...i'll shut up now.]
i agree you do lack a definitive format, as it is i am fine with the way it is written but it just something i notice (and i tend to notice a poems format quicker then i would a grammatical error). i am glad that you explore the angst-genere and make it such a pleasure to read, i'm really loving your mix of angst/dark; the imagery is just gorgeous and...well, i think i have explained it all. i lovelovelovelove the ending, which i think was the mst powerful line even if i am pretty infatuated with your opening line. so, yeah, you deserve a heart.
| method acting chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
Nice ending. Well, the last line at least. I adore your work, you know I do...only lately there's a pattern that I believe isn't exersizing your true talent. If you aspire to be a poet, you have to write on all subjects that touch you. These angst pieces are well written (though they lack format) but they all sound similar and typical. I know, as your profile states, you write when you are in a high emotional state, breaking down. Which is fine, expressing your thoughts this way is constructive, plus you've got talent. My only sujestion would be to broaden your horizens, write more than dark poetry. Surely something else strikes you. In any case, artfully done.
| Frosted Midnight chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
so sad, but good
| x.sweet.catastrophe.x chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
You told the story beautifully. Nicely done!
| QueenVixta chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
Whoa powerful piece! I liked how you told a story though it. Great work, well done! V x
| AllyCred chapter 1 . 2/25/2006
love it, so much passion and thought running through this, superb job, never saw this style been done before, you do it with ease and confidence, very deep, well done!