Reviews for Ghost
Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 6/10/2007
A sad, but good, poem. The rhyming was perfect. I liked it.
MrBillyD chapter 1 . 3/1/2007
You've caught the feelings of a tormented vampire just right. You should have a very good future as a writer.
Embellished Heart chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
This is really really good. Short yet powerful. Its so easy to visualise the whole thing playing workDana
angeloftheninthorder chapter 1 . 2/27/2006
Full of suspense, the words literally create blood and chocolate in my mouth. One as tastefull as the other.

P.S. Thanx for looking at my stories.
Jonathan Kimberley chapter 1 . 2/26/2006
this may be taken from a couple of different views, but to me, this sounds as if you are a vampire remembering the day you were turned.
Oriel Vaughn chapter 1 . 2/26/2006
I like the sense of rhythm in this piece. The rhyming is not bad either - quite consistent rhyming without sounding unnatural, as though you simply chucked in any word just to make it rhyme. I also liked the description of "whirlpools of a deep black ocean"; it was really good imagery :)

But punctuation-wise: may I suggest changing the first line to "A ghost of myself; is that what I see?" I think it kind of enhances the rhythm.

Keep writing! :)