|Reviews for Conclusion|
| CostumeForAGutterball chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
wow-this is great stuff...im speechless...
| the naked civil servant chapter 1 . 5/6/2006
i have been agonizing over this poem for aeons. i love it so. i just don't know quite how to explain its genius & my awe. the part about fairytales, ivy, palaces & waitressing is so gorgeous i could cry. every sentence like a GUNSHOT, christ almighty& the empathy
| missmeghanh chapter 1 . 3/30/2006
this poem reminds me of so many different things. my mom, my friend that passed recently on and myself.
what really spoke to me was this:I have some kind of outer shell
like glitter skin
that you touch,
that reminds me of so many wonderful expirences i've had. thank you for sturring up such delicious memories for me.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/25/2006
I feel kind of like I’m ganna throw up...gonnarather then sell myself...than
wow.. I think this is one of your bests.. it's easier to understand than ususal (half your poems go way over my head) and I love the way it flows.. beautiful ::adss to favs::
| Rachel-Jane Kensington chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
Totally rivetting. I absolutely ate this up. Vastly incredible and easy to relate too. Too many lines I wanna quote!-aspen
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 3/14/2006
[Drive home across the underbelly of some black cloud formation.] I love this opening line, especially the way you use the word "underbelly."
[Another storm to busy my windshield wipers with - / and I’m tired, / too tired to think, / or blink at the yellow lights] These first several lines, along with the "black cloud formation" line, really provide some excellent imagery. I see all this from the interior of a car; the black clouds overhead, the rain coming down, the windshield wipers sliding back and forth with that sqeaking sound, the blurry trafficlight; and for some reason Dave Matthews is playing on the radio. LOL.
[Black and blue / like the never-ending marks on my arms / (it could be a deadly disease mutating, / I could be dying in all actuality)] Great lines, especially the part in parenthesis.
[got an eight thousand dollar investment / (otherwise nicknamed education) / to back my theory up with -] I think that last line would sound better as "to back up my theory;" but I still love this section about the "eight thousand dollar investment." There's that dark, dry humor of yours once again.
[I feel kind of like I’m ganna throw up] "ganna?"
[truth be told I’d rather work as a waitress for the rest of my life] Another great line.
[or the fact that I’m the first person in my family to graduate from college -] Unless I end up failing and dropping out, which is becoming more and more of a possibility if I don't get off of my lazy ass here soon, I'll be the first of my family to graduate, too.
[sometimes I just want to speak, / even if what I say makes no sense - / I just want to say it] I think I can kinda relate to this, as I'm sure a lot of people can.
[just a girl in a uniform - / grass stains on my sneakers; / cats (like children and lovers) / to curl up with each night when the air gets too cold / to not burrow under the blankets.] Love this imagery; it's very cute. I can't help but see a young little girl when I read these lines.
[like Joy / (the one my mother gave me)] I like this; it seems kinda familiar, too, for some reason.
[Maybe I want to live without living; / circle / and underline / best parts and fabricate my memoir with ideals / metaphor vs. reality)] These lines escaped me the first time I read the poem, but they really jumped out at me this time. That's what I love about your poetry. You can read your poems again and again and again and each time take something new from them; there's always a line that jumps out in different reads that you didn't notice as much previously. I think it's because your poetry is so damn good that sometimes when I'm reading, I'm still thinking about one of the lines I just read instead of the ones I'm reading at the moment.
[I can’t help but think about Jessica] The girl all your work is dedicated to.
[that’s the shitiest part about death,] *shittiest*
[not knowing what could have happened had they lived / (or in her case thrived.)] I like that part in parenthesis; she must've been an amazing girl. You have a lot of confidence that she would've done great things in her life, as I'm sure she would have.
[I feel kind of like a weed in the mouth of a great sunrise] This line is just amazing; my favorite of the entire poem, and there are A LOT of amazing lines in this one.
[but conclusions with no horizons are too unforeseeable.] Nice ending, although it seems to lack a certain punch. I could've kept reading this one; I was actually sad to see that the scroll bar had no more room to scroll.
This is an amazing poem. I absolutely loved it. This is the kind of style/format that I like the most of the many different styles and formats you write in.
This poem has to be one of my favorites of yours.
Excellent job. Write on.
| Jennifer Light chapter 1 . 3/12/2006
I don't know if it was something specific(sp?) in this or just the whole general feeling of this piece, but...I'm crying. Keep it up, and I promise I have some stuff to update soon, too.
| Kayla Reinvented chapter 1 . 3/6/2006
Your poem is awesome! I really like it!
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 3/5/2006
For one of my poems, I remember you writing something like "I can see you as a person." That's what this poem was like for me.
It made me feel better-I'm not in college yet, but it's hit me that soon, I'm going to have to leave my house, and my mother, and as much as I want that, I'm scared. Working as a waitress for the rest of your life, and just having a place to live and seek comfort, seems like such an easy, nice way to live. In this, I can see you, unsure of what to do. Confused after high school. Still hurt from the death of someone you love. Wanting to be who you are, and nothing else, and not have the world assume things from you that aren't there. Not wanting to sell out or give in.
I think I saw things that weren't there, and I missed some important things you weren't trying to say. This is one of my favorite things written by you.
| lady-in-the-mirror chapter 1 . 3/5/2006
once again, i love your style of poetry!"(it could be a deadly disease mutating,
I could be dying in all actuality)"Another favourite line.*gasps* look at how many people love your poetry! Myself included. 330 STORIES!*falls down dead with amazement*
| Around.about chapter 1 . 3/4/2006
Your work is so beautiful and original. It is all just wonderful.I envy your skill and passion.
Keep up the amazing work
| Ame Lockheart chapter 1 . 3/2/2006
"I put on a great smile, or great show depending on how you look at it."I love this line! It's very truthful.*hugs* thanks for reviewing mine, btw...
| Sarah Rizal chapter 1 . 3/2/2006
Wow! thats all i can say. Very nicely written. )
| Paramour-ing chapter 1 . 3/1/2006
More personal! Too personal! From this and the other that I just read I get such strong and striking and different versions of you.
| The Postscript chapter 1 . 2/28/2006
Nice...my favorite line is "I teeter from foot to foot and listen to the silence of all this sound". You also mentioned Jessica, to which I notice your work was dedicated. I really love this since I can so relate when a good friend of mine died. I was just talking to a friend about all of this - from how I wouldn't mind dropping school and getting to work to think[ing] about Jessica, or in my case my friend who died. Really...it was just yesterday I told my friend I would like to talk to John and ask him - Is there a heaven? Is there a God? Or was the idea just something for us to hold on to in order to keep us going in life? What would my life be if he hadn't died? Yet in all of your poem, I can truly see how the world is connected. The writing is a little choppy, but from other work I've read of yours I think it's just your style? I do like it, so please don't think otherwise...wonderful, wonderful work.
Thank you for your review as well. Even though I'm doubting God now too. Yes...we have so much in common: liberal, pro-choice, anti-war...but above all writers. Keep on writing.