I can't believe I haven't come across this until now. Your style is beautiful, and it's the kind that inspires a person to write better to reach your level. I love the dialogue, your subtle references to different works of movies/literature, including the first line and the phonies and ayn rand, and how absolutely miserable everybody was but it was their misery and happiness that made them much more real to me. So many quotable lines too, such as "Nothing in the world is a lost cause except causes greater than yourself", "In the end, we are trapped not by confinement but unending potential", my favourite, "Too much beauty, after all, depreciated beauty. Never was beauty more profound than when it was torn apart", and of course, the very last line. Such a well-written story and a rare gem on this site. Thank you for that.

Enchanting. I can't believe I hadn't found this until now.

This story...it stands out against a ton of other online stories.

I appreciate the language. It's not too much or too hard to believe...not to me. It does so much to the tone.

Thanks for posting it.

I skimmed this in half an hour, and I have to say, I don't even know if I like these characters. Everyone is bad in some way. Madison annoys me. Brad is an ass. Luke is an ass. I like Victoria the best, but even she's too...snarky for me. She seems hard, but she has these moments of weakness throughout the whole thing. The whole thing is kind of sad, and more than a little messed up. But somehow I like the story. I don't like the general ideas behind it, but I like how it distorts a cliche and makes it an interesting study of the characters.

I don't really know what to say after reading it. At the end of chap. 14 I felt sad thinking that he might pursue with his sadistic plan. But was greatly relieved that it didn't happen. Your story was dark and I like this dark humor you have going on and the fact that it's filled with philosophy, I think, made it enjoyable.

Nice one!

I on the same page with Victoria. I want to find a man that's equal to me and not ordering me around like a maid. That was one heck of a chapter. Had my mind reeling. Literally.

I like Vaughn. I hope he ends up with her... *Sigh* Journalists sure are witty and twisted yet still brilliant.

are you kidding me? that's the ending? i'm sad... this story's kind of intense so i'm wondering why the genre is humour... but it was pretty cool so i don't really care.

]

Oh dear lord, I wrote a screenplay almost exactly like this chapter. Well, without the bet and the using-the-girl-to-get-to-the-blonde plot, but Rich Entitled Guy did start talking to Bitter Hard-Working Girl only to discover they went to the same high school. And they snarked. And ultimately realised they misjudged each other and agreed to go out. How sad for me to discover I have zero original thought. *blue*

Sweet story. :D

wow. you are a very talented writer. all of your characters so far are more than static. bravo.

This is a gorgeous story. I really love it. You have some very real characters. The ending was perfect.

Awesome writing. I really enjoyed the way you dealt with the characters psychologically-they are so influenced by their cultural and political backgrounds yet ultimately are able to break free of their inhibitions. Very Fitzgerald-esque. And I totally agree with you on the state of literature today...I despise Da Vinci Code and I can't stand Harry Potter, or his fans. I look forward to reading your other stories. :]

alright, is this turning into some twisted love square? cuz i'm seriously writhing on my couch wanting to know what happens without skipping chapters... arggh!

I dig your story, but you seem to have abandoned it. Which is fair enough, but it makes me a touch sad.

Luke pisses me off, he is a giant cliche of unoriginality, but I like Vanessa. She's real and believable.

If you even read this keep writing because you've got a lot of talent.