Reviews for it should be me
Gilee7 chapter 1 . 6/24/2006
This poem seems weak after just reading "Summer Footprints." But that's only because that poem is Oscar-worthy (that is if they GAVE Oscars for poetry).

The second stanza is my favorite. The last stanza is also very good.

I saw a reviewer use the word "raw" in their review. I couldn't think of a more perfect word to describe your poetry. All of your work is very raw, which makes it seem very real and honest. You're not afraid to tell the truth, even if you have to get dirty in the process. I applaud you for that. You've got balls (figuratively speaking, of course).

Not your best poem, but still pretty good.
mostly water chapter 1 . 6/7/2006
ah, this is beautiful. lovely progression, the ending stanza is perfection in every word.

"her see-through topand c-sized cupsthrust into his greedyeyes make thevodka in my throatturn to rust withdisgust"

that's really gorgeous, really evocative...i wish i could fave this!

"bridsemaid and made" has a nice ring to it too.

but the best bit is the last stanza, it's gorgeous. "words he dropped" "looked at me / (not her) / like that." ah i love it!
sundaynightsky chapter 1 . 5/16/2006
this is gorgeous. and i can relate to this one too. next time i log on i'll add u to my fave authors :D gorgeous. love the last stanza. wonderful.
Pink Sparrow chapter 1 . 4/28/2006
oh wow.. this is amazing. I love it so much. Especcially the last verse, that just draws everything together. Beautiful.
a lonely september chapter 1 . 4/3/2006
this is so filled with pain. im sorry this took forever to review. . .
My New Pen Name chapter 1 . 4/3/2006
Fabulous! Nothing else to say.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 4/2/2006
Wow, this whole poem is so raw and powerful. Everything is so visual, and the words you chose show that bitter jealousy perfectly. Wonderful. I'd give examples of what I liked, but then I'd just be quoting the entire thing. I loved it. Keep writing! :)
these travels chapter 1 . 3/30/2006
my happiness is a ghostthat sounds likewords he droppedinto my lapwhen he looked at me(not her)like that.

i've never heard jealousy described so vividly. great write.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/27/2006
I like this... very sad yet sarcastic at the same time.. awesome piece
Thorn's-girl chapter 1 . 3/14/2006
As usual, you capture emotion and spin it to your tune in a way that pins the image to my eyelids. You always give neough to let the reader know what you meant, but leave enough so that they can twist the rest to fit what they want. The girl here could be in love with eiher of the others, or neither. It could be simply a very jealous friendship, anything. God i love your writing...
kit feral chapter 1 . 3/14/2006
Wow... I especially love the ending... but the whole thing is amazing, the emotions are so strong and biting.

"make the vodka in my throat turn to rust with disgust" Fan-fucking-tastic line. Unbelivable in it's raw perfection.

"Ill hold her dress bridesmaid and made to only ever be the second best(friend)" Really like the second best friend part. Just amazing.

Great, great, great work. Never stop writing.
crazy dog events chapter 1 . 3/9/2006
Gorgeous. The last two stanzas were definately the best. (the hole sequin thing had me going pretty-eyed.) Nice job.
primal injection chapter 1 . 3/8/2006
"wound tight and spiked with vomit flecks..." All of this just cast such strong images. Really good work...
Galadh Niniel chapter 1 . 3/7/2006
Your imagery is absolutely amazing. "vodka in my throat turn to rust". Wow. The way you work with double meanings through these bracketed words is also a really good idea. Great poem, especially the last stanza.
finger on the trigger chapter 1 . 3/7/2006
my happiness is a ghost that sounds like words he dropped into my lap when he looked at me (not her) like that.

such a great closing stanza. & the first two lines of the second stanza made me smile. heart it to pieces.
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