|Reviews for Forgiveness|
| godkincocolate chapter 1 . 5/1/2006
I love it! You rock Lorin!
| Leylique Morrow chapter 1 . 4/18/2006
I'm going to bypass the mood of this (who am I to critique emotion?) and dissect it from a literary standpoint.
I think you abandoned all of your writing know-how in favor of emotion. There's nothing wrong with that; I was a little surprised, after reading some of your other stories, that you would write something this raw. Maybe it's the punctuation that threw me off.
It's not one of your better poems, but it looks like it needed to be expressed one way or another and I am 100% for poetry as an outlet.
| Archipelago chapter 1 . 3/31/2006
Meep. Very striking when I read.
| Steel Winged Angel chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
I like this stanza:
an empty beer canthat you can crushand throw away...
Not bad, but it wouldn't hurt to add a bit to it.
| youzi chapter 1 . 3/17/2006
i like the way you've phrased the struggle in such a heartwrenching manner- "I don't cry!/but you make me cry"...
do keep writing :)
| atheena Parmenter chapter 1 . 3/10/2006
i know that this might sound wronge but you have to be somone. i feel like crap sometimes in others eyes they dont like to even notice me but if they spend all thier time trying not to notice you then obviously you are someone they cant realy keep out of their mind
| boys kiss girls chapter 1 . 3/9/2006
Oh wow. This just takes your breath away. I read the first stanza and it reminded me of myself. Wow. Great job.
| crazy dog events chapter 1 . 3/8/2006
I'ts not one of your best, but there's feeling to it. Keep it up.
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 3/8/2006
This has a voice that resonates with relatability. Stark imagery really helps to elevate the emotion. Well written.