Reviews for Oedipus Baby
Broken Melody chapter 4 . 3/10/2006
Whoa... It was by mistake then? A insane poor misrey striken boy? He did as he not not want, to kill his parents! I suppose the boy only answers to his adopted parents and the Gods?
Broken Melody chapter 3 . 3/10/2006
So he turns to the oracle? Um... Something of his own? His own life? Um...


Could you make each chapter a bit longer?

Oh, I think you may have read my mind as I typed a few chapters ago! I think I had suggested the periods and the capitals... I suppose you did that. Well good then.

This is so good!
Broken Melody chapter 2 . 3/10/2006
So then the child is to begin the profocy? Probably because of the hatred...

So he was abandoned because of a frieghtened king and his wish in anguish? Does the servant raise? That seems to be how it has appeared to me. Very swell, this is!

I'm kind of confused of your poetry style for this lovely story. I think I will get used to it. I just don't totally understand the bracket style though. So in not the brackets are you expressing the atmosphere and then in the brackets are you expressing the thing that happens with the babe, the King and the Queen?

It is great!

I think that maybe you could consider making a capital at each sentence and then or verse and when it ends a period.
Broken Melody chapter 1 . 3/10/2006
WOW... I really like this. Is this a poem novel? Where each chapter is written in poetry? YES! It IS! YAY!

I think at the end of each verse there should be a period.

'King Laios stumbles to his feet and backs awayvision blurred and ears ringingand the flames flicker and dance(pleading, calling, praying)before his disbelieving eyes"."'

That is how I do poetry anyway. I think it is right but I also think you should decide since the work is yours.

So he is seeing what has been told to him by seers as he is having sex with his wife, drunk? A good story, I love it already. I really do like this concept.

He dies by his child's hand? Also the seer does not know when this babe is to be born, such mystery!

I still think when a poetic sentence is done, however long or how many lines the verse... it should end with a period.
Dina chapter 7 . 3/10/2006
This is in story is way it is written is 's so beautifully passionate.I absolutely love it.
Namir Swiftpaw chapter 7 . 3/10/2006
Your poem makes me want to burn everything I have written and then bury it so deep no one will ever see it again.

This is superb. I really don't know what else to say.

~Namir Swiftpaw
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