Reviews for Pretty Metal
De Roche chapter 1 . 4/5/2007
I have a feeling you didn't really edit this before you posted it did, ya? You have a couple of comma issues that I found. Didn't look at it too hard and those were the only errors I found so yeah.
FadeToBlack chapter 1 . 3/18/2007
Well I've read the entire 12 chapters that have been posted, and I think this is pretty good. The only problem is that I had a hard time telling what age the characters were. In the first chapter the speakers say that their eighth grade year has been their best and then in the next chapter Lance is driving. So he's fourteen and driving?

You said before that you've re-written this so I'll assume that when you first wrote this that it was set in the eighth grade. But you re-wrote it to be in high school, junior year I think it said. I suggest going through the chapters again and correcting anything you missed the first time around.

I hope this was helpful,

F2B
Sir Scott chapter 12 . 9/29/2006
Pretty good chapter. I loved how you worked in the line I wrote for Crazy Jay. I wonder if fame will change these characters.

Wishing You Good Health And Plenty Of Wealth, ~SirScott~
De Roche chapter 12 . 9/29/2006
interesting chappie.I can't wait till the next is getting really good. Keep it up. . -De Roche
SirScott chapter 11 . 9/21/2006
I'm glad that you liked that clipet and I feel honored that you want to use it. Thanks for your reviewers.

Wishing You Good Health And Plenty Of Wealth, ~SirScott~
Sir Scott chapter 11 . 9/15/2006
"This is Crazy Jay playing a funky new song by Pretty Metal. Crank up the volume so your neighbors will call the cops...here we go..."I also picture him has having a goatee and wearing dark sunglasses. Sorry about that don't know where it came from. Hopefully, this is their big You Good Health And Plenty Of Wealth, ~SirScott~
De Roche chapter 11 . 9/15/2006
ugh..one thing maybe two. You need to proof read yer chapters before you post them. Anyway, really good chapter and its cool to see them actually going somewhere with Pretty Metal.
Sir Scott chapter 10 . 9/11/2006
Of course, it is possible only one of the kids to be Ace's. Good chapter.

Wishing You Good Health And Plenty Of Wealth, ~SirScott~
De Roche chapter 10 . 9/11/2006
Yeah one error in yer writing. Veronica's Twins go from being Girl and a boy to girl and a girl. So yeah..you might want to fix that.
De Roche chapter 9 . 9/8/2006
OMG! Operation Red Wagon! I remember that from Vanderwood's class! Holy crap nice cliffy at the end of the chappie! Keep at it, Sav-it
Sir Scott chapter 9 . 9/4/2006
It seems like the band members are having a tough time right now. I look forward to the next chapter.

Wishing You Good Health And Plenty Of Wealth, ~SirScott~
LiveToTheFullest chapter 8 . 8/10/2006
This is bloody awesome.
Sir Scott chapter 8 . 8/4/2006
The plot thickens, I hope you're not gone too long.

Wishing You Good Health And Plenty Of Wealth, ~SirScott~
De Roche chapter 8 . 8/2/2006
Good Chapter

-De Roche
De Roche chapter 7 . 8/2/2006
Pretty good chapters. Just a few spelling errors this time. It is a very good story and such. Can't wait till next chapter!

-De Roche
22 | Page 1 2 Next »