I love the plot, it sounds so bloody exciting.

You have some typos though, let me point them out. Try to double-check though, my memory may deceive us at times.

"They looked at eachother and laughed" You forgot the space between each and other.

"medium lenghth dark brown hair" lenghth should be spelled as "length"

"perve" You don't need the e at the end, just "perv."

"back enrance of the club" The entrance, dear.

"shook off his asistance" assistance

"it's resting position" its, no apostrophe

I like your characters, for they have personality, and you establish them well. The setting is superb as well, and the ending of this chapter is just wonderful. You portray torture in a captivating way. Keep up the great work and update soon.

~Doray