I took the time to read this after reading the first five chapters of Centurion and I'm glad I did. This has got to be one of the best things I've read on this site or otherwise. The characters were interesting with their own unique flaws and the plot was intruging and the ending left plenty of room for a sequel, which I hope to see. And Trauma's awesome, glad he didn't die.

I'm very glad I somehow stumbled onto your work.

Having read through this entire thing in a couple of days I can say you should look into getting yourself an agent. This story in and of itself is highly publishable even with the inclusion of 'super heroes'. It's extremely well written with a good solid pace.

The only things I noticed, and you even made mention of it in the last bit of chap. 24, is your characterization of female characters.

Admittedly this is a super hero world so they're all going to be gorgeous but they seemed mostly flash and very little substance. However, you relegated them enough to background characters that it did not affect the story over-much.

Congrats on a well written tale. I'm eagerly awaiting whatever else you put out for the populace's consumption.

~C. Hinton

Wow that was simply wonderful, a weaving tale of cunning trickery and deceit. I Can't wait to read the rest of your works, and will look forward to new pieces that you write as well.

Once again, Wonderful one of those stories that kept me up all night reading

Excellent! That's basically all I have said. I've been following this story for quite a while... a year? And it's extremely gratifying to see it finished in suitable fashion, and I was slightly amused to see that Garrett was the inspiration for Oliver because like you, I think Thief is one of the all time greatest games ever. The world is just damn interesting.

Cheers John another story done, another story I've finished reading so cheers to me too, yeah it had a nice touch, unfortunately for Reed you've given him a handful of next generation enemies to tangle with which I'm going to be nervous about the future aftermath, sorry if this is long but it is a review after all, so nice job and I'm glad you didn't kill Catherine off its only fair, good luck with Centurions I'll be keeping an eye for any updates and I'll see you in a couple of months after I finish Cold Blad3 and continue with The Brotherhood.

your faithfully

S J Olusanya

A very nice ending and I liked the set-ups for a sequel. (Maybe more than one?) I loved how you listed all the references and inspirations at the end. I think Widowmaker and Overkill were sort of like Deadshot and Bullseye, being gun-related super villains, but the others are a lot harder to place. Anyway, good job and I ought to start on that Centurion story soon.

I just want to say since I have been following this story from almost the beginning, that this is the BEST original story I have seen yet. I do hope it's get published and more people read it because you are amazing. The story is well written and even if it has grammar mistakes to me it will always be perfect. Your made such a good combinations of old characters that they all are very original in their own way.

I do wish for you to keep writing and I will keep reading!

~Rain

Well, those two chapters were very good. I particulary liked the battle between Malevolence and Ultra, with absurdly high levels of collateral damage. It was the like a comic book fight from a nightmare. I did the Terminator comment was a little out of place, but other than that it was awesome. I do wonder if civil war is going to break out, like in the comic of V for Vendetta, and then democracy will come back. Or maybe it will end with Emperor Reed sitting in his throne looking at the world? And the fate of Malevolence's kids is also pressing. Will that be resolved in this, or is it a set-up for a sequel? Whatever the case, I'm looking forward to it.

That was a very, very good chapter. Yay for Ultra being dead! Of course, you had to leave it at another cliff hanger but that's okay.

One think you should probably do is go back through this chapter and look at your punctuation. I'm actually assuming that it's the site's fault and not yours but, a lot of your end quotation marks are either missing or in the wrong spot and quite a few of your apostrophies for words like I'm and You're are gone. The last line of the chapter, "Now I finally..." is Raptor speaking, I think, but it doesn't have any quotation marks at all.

Anyway, update soon. I want to know how Reed escapes this time!

Wow we're almost at the end of Den of Thieves, I loved the final battle btw Malevolence and Ultra and how you placed the other heroes against their counterparts, I actually could feel the pain from Reed's torture and cringed, as you reach the final chapter, its been a pleasure reading this story and good luck with the Centurion and the sequel.

Sorry you're having problems with this site, but you've got my support.

I started this twelve hours ago and have been completely absorbed in your universe. You write action well. Your plotting is smart. This is good work I wouldn't mind paying to read. My biggest criticism- your females remind me of new RPG characters. While showing potential to become interesting, they need more game play. I'd like to able to give a crap about what happens to each of them whether or not Oliver ever does. You managed to make me care about your male characters whether I'd like to buy them a beer, kill, or pity them because they have personalities that remove them from being psychological stereotypes.

This is absolutely amazing. I love how you've taken Batman, and Superman, and all those superhero stories and made them your own. I can also see quite a bit of V for Vendetta in here. The combination is striking and it certainly makes for a great story.

I can't wait for your next chapter. Obviously I want to know what went wrong with Reed's gun but I also want to know if Victoria is really pregnant and what Reed's going to do with her. It would also be interesting to know what's really going on behind the "Bamboo Curtain". It would be ironic if, since the US went communist/fascist, China ended up being a democratic paradise. I'd also like to know a bit more about the aliens. That's the only part of your story that doesn't seem to fit 100 percent correctly. It actually seems a little far fetched in the current context and I would like to see them either more incorporated into the story or explained more throughly.

The one thing I keep thinking about is, if Reed manages to take over the Cabal when this massive fight ends, he'll essentially be in complete control of the entire US. I don't see that being taken all too well by the propaganda fed populace. I would like to know just how you're planning to have Reed take over and keeping himself in power. I'm looking forward to it in future chapters!

One thing I think you should go back and look into is the scene when Reed and Ultra are sharing that beer back when they first meet. Ultra calls Reed, Oliver, a couple of times. I'm sure you meant to write John and just made a mistake but I'd thought I'd mention it so you can fix it.

So, please update soon! End my suspense over that cliffhanger!

This is an awesome epic story, very cool, super slick, and one of the best things I've read on Fictionpress. If this was in a book store, I would buy it, simple as that. I do like the characters and the world is very well thought out and frightening, a great mix of V for Vendetta, Watchmen, Escape from New York and Yojimbo. That said, I think the only problem with this story is Oliver Reed's invincibility. It seems that apart from underlings and low-level thugs, Reed is the only character to be doing any major damage. Killing off all of those cool supervillains in one chapter was a little disapointing, and I think Reed manipulating other characters into fighting would be cool. I do really want to see an all-out showdown between the new Cabal and the Freedom Force, preferably with lots of collateral damage. However, I know its not over yet, so I'm sure some truly epic battles are coming ahead, and I'm very curiuous as to the powers of new Cabal members and Freedom Force members. I hope you can get back to this soon and look forward to reading more.

I think you meant for Chapters 19 and 20 to appear in reverse order.

I just finished reading your first chapter. I liked it, by and large - and yes, the influence of such works as "1984" and "V for Vendetta" is noticeable, despite your different writing style - but while I was going through, I took notes for a few nitpicks about a few rough spots that could stand a bit of fixing. Note: When I quote a passage from someone's work in a review, I put the parts I'm quoting inside asterisks - * like this * - to make it plain which paragraphs of the review are my own comments and which parts aren't.

* Malevolence never kept any papers on his desk. Reed had no idea where the chief villain of villains kept his secrets, possibly in the bank of computers that fed the monitors in his office, but nothing was for sure when it came to him. *

You seem to be contradicting yourself - first you say Reed "had no idea" where the big secrets were, then you say he thought it possible they were inside the computers. That doesn't work. If you started out by saying "he didn't know" or "he had no way of knowing for certain" or something along those lines, then it would make more sense. But it's clear that he does have a speculative IDEA on the subject.

* Reed had heard rumors of such a thing, but this was the first time someone else actually confirmed it. If Malevolence was telling him this, it was a sure fire 100 fact. *

I'm pretty sure you meant "100 percent." I've had this exact problem - I type the percentage sign, and then for some reason the FictionPress server automatically filters it out. Then I have to go back and insert the word "percent" so it makes sense . . .

* They were sitting in the loft apartment Jesse ran in the Outlands called ‘The Polka Dot Bikini’, commonly referred to by its patrons as ‘The Polka Dot’. *

I felt very confused as I read that passage. Why would anyone call his own apartment "The Polka Dot Bikini"? And why would a loft apartment have patrons wandering in and out? I wondered: Was he running a small bar in the same apartment he lived in? Then I got down to this part, a few paragraphs later:

* On the main floor beneath them, the slow, grinding bass of a blues band Jesse hired the week previous shook the walls, but through the years Jesse and Oliver had taken pains to soundproof the room with triple thick sheets of sound battens behind every wall and under the floorboards. *

At this point I began to suspect you'd accidentally left out a few words when you described where Reed and Jesse were sitting. At a guess, perhaps you meant to say something along the following lines?

They were sitting in the loft apartment directly above the nightclub Jesse ran in the Outlands called ‘The Polka Dot Bikini’, commonly referred to by its patrons as ‘The Polka Dot’.