Reviews for Forget Me Not
Damien Vlashtov chapter 1 . 4/17/2009
"I left you with my tears in my hands."

Perfect line. Not cliche, as these pieces can so often be.

Well done, madame.
Stormie Greye chapter 1 . 9/7/2006
In the second paragraph, the sentence, "Because when I reached you, when I saw those blue-green oceans filled with tears and look at me and I knew that your sorrow wasn't for me, it all disappeared from my mind." confused me somewhat. Or it could be just me. But it just seems like something needs to be fixed. I know not whether a comma is missing or if the structure should be rearranged to be easier understandable.

And the fourth paragraph, I loved, "But for me the sky wept." I just thought it was a really beautiful sentence.

Overall, this short piece was sad and very emotional. I can relate to some things in this, and that's why I enjoyed it more. You have an extraodinary use of description; it seems to come naturally instead of pulling your hair to find the right words or browsing through a thesaurus. At the same time, it's simple and not longwinded or overdone as many writers will do (I myself can be found guilty :]).

Though, if you're looking for anything to improve, I would say to look at your use of mechanics. It was pretty good, but I picked up a few missing commas and whatnots.

But it was really beautiful! Thank you for sharing. :)
Fallingdreamdrops chapter 1 . 8/31/2006
nice job
keringo chapter 1 . 6/6/2006
i love the last line..."i will always wait"..and i updated my story...do check it out! )
Femme de Dieu chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
This left me feeling just as you said "with tears in my hands." An emptiness that refuses to let go, and yet can't regain what was lost. A living pain...someone "dying a perpetual death."

Favorite lines: "I would be torn by the memories of us in every place I passed. I would see you walk in front of me everywhere I went, I would feel your hand in mine in the sunset and I would kiss you under the stars in my fantasy."

Trapped in a box, a beautiful secret that only you share with yourself...exquisite torture!
Valine chapter 1 . 5/22/2006
How nice...*sniff*
GirlxAnachronism chapter 1 . 4/10/2006
lol yeah ikno i have terrible spelling and grammer. This is my first time using fiction press so i was just seeing how it worked. I know i have alot of editing to do but i was just testing it out.I tried to get it to upload on word but it wouldnt work and i couldnt change eaither way my grammer and spelling is very very Terrble, i'm weel aware.I havnt read any of your stuff but when i find the time i will be sure
redexted chapter 1 . 3/19/2006
'And I knew that when we would meet the next time the only talk between us would be two heartbreaking sentences about the weather and a lie about how we were.'

How true. How... sad. What a weak word. But thank you for making me tear. It somehow makes living a little more worthwhile.
Aikida chapter 1 . 3/18/2006
Aw, so emotional. This is ... well, different from what you normally write, but still extremely beautiful and eloquently written. Nice job. Lovely.
Mishi-chan101 chapter 1 . 3/18/2006
It's sad. Really, truly, deeply sad. It reminds me of something that I won't say because it's too painful a tale to tell. Thanks for sharing this with the world, though. I'd never have your courage.