|Reviews for All and Naught|
| StupoKupo chapter 1 . 3/19/2006
Crazy stuff Temmon. :D It's great. Reminds me of 1984, and um, stuff.
Anyway; keep on writing. XD
| owleyed007 chapter 3 . 3/19/2006
let's from the top shall we? 1) if your going to make the caste issue a big issue, describe it more than in chopping sentences. Talk about the kingdom, give a brief insight into the Sela's life. Give her a more concrte reason than just feeling wrong to dislike her life. If the caste thing a big issue4 you have to make your readers care about it!
2) Do you read any romance stories? I don't get the vibe of attraction, from either of the characters. Even if it wasn't love, shouldn't there atleast be connection between the two a little bit more than the feeling on not fitting? And if romance is the reason to break castes make the love fill the characters actions and thier thoughts.
3) Give a little bit more detail about the kingdome Sela and Morien live in. Just vauge accounts makes the reader feel like their drifting about.
4) Do you have plans for the story? Where are Sela and Morien going? Are they going to run into trouble? What makes Eiji special/ important to their story?
Above and over all keep your story's end in mind. Make sure you have pilable plot, a quest, an adventure, you get the picture. Have a concise idea of the story, make sure you know when and where things important to the plot happen. Beacause few writers are gifted at writing about nothing and making it seem intresting.