|Reviews for In a Jar|
| Femme de Dieu chapter 1 . 8/29/2006
Whoa! I cheated and read the reviews first...and so I was anticipating something quite stunning, and I was not disappointed.
To use butterflies in a jar to describe the fleeting nature of (what seems to me) young love that is so intense, and yet burns itself out so quickly, was truly amazing. I find fascinating when writers conjure up unheard of metaphors to describe something as common as love and/or infatuation.
Great job!Truly, Tourterelle
| Aelux chapter 1 . 8/23/2006
Great insight and wisdom hidden in it, even if you were going for that or not. The flow is perfect aside from a sudden change of rhyme at the end.
I really liked how you brought it all to a close...
| youzi chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
i love the fact that it rhymes and flows so very well (most people, when attempting to rhyme, end up with pieces that sound 'forced')..i also loved the lines "It’s so hard to know/Which way to go...When love is new and words come out/Like water choked inside its spout" and the lovely closing lines..i think they convey an aching sadness that is easy to identify with...do keep writing! :D
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
aww, this is a good one, it makes me feel sad though, the last line is very powerful!
| Drops of Jewpiter chapter 1 . 3/20/2006
great poem- i love the rhyming scheme that makes the poem seem to flow so perfectly. good job :)