|Reviews for Eyes of the Beholder|
| Delsie chapter 1 . 3/21/2006
I love what I percieve to be the point of this story. It's something that I find myself doing a lot too, so I guess that I just relate.
However, there are some errors that I noticed in it. In the first paragraph, it says "it is the trees talking in their...". That would be the phrasing of a statement, not a question. You probably meant "is it the trees...".
Also, the third question reads a little awkwardly. There are multiple ways to fix this. The easiest is to put in a comma after "a sheltered glade". Or you could rephrase it to "If a faerie band is hiding in the mist of a sheltered glade, singing..." Or there may be another way that I'm not thinking of.
Anyway, sorry for all the drawn out corrections. I really do love the story, though I have one word for you: more! As it is, it feels very short and abrupt. I suppose that may have been the point, but it just doesn't quite flow correctly for me. Though it could just be me.
So, love the story, wish there was more. I look forward to your next work!