That is twisted and..wow

Ouch.

That's about all I can say. And I mean it in a good way.

-On hand gingerly let go of the chilled bar- *One

Wow, what a sad, awful story. Human beings can so, so abuse one another. Why do we turn a blind eye on such suffering? Why do we in these rich, contended countries of North America ignore the abject poverty of other countries, where people starve until they will sell their children and their souls? Very sad, indeed. Very thought-provoking.

You managed to write this in a very brief and succinct manner, giving us only yhe information that was absolutely necessary, while still conveying the power of the subject. Good job!

Oh, this is so sad. And the saddest part is that it's probably vrey true. Amazingly captured and heartwrenchingly written.

... Hm... I'm thinking "powerful" but also...Hn? Which man was the girl referring to? The one who had the cash before or after?

disgusting topic, good execution.

I'm glad that you are using your talents to bring attention to this subject. Well done.

That's so sad. I almost cried. I think that the lengths people go to to make a quick buck are sometimes cruel and ridiculous. Especially when this kind of thing is involved.

Wow. Reading this makes me feel like I've been stabbed. It's so simple and I think that's where the power comes from. Um, you said you wanted people to be critical, but I can't think of anything negative to say. I guess gramatically I'm wondering if there needs to be a comma after "frozen" and if it wouldn't flow better to insert a semicolon after "men" instead of starting a new sentence. Oh, and "The world's newest sex-slave" is a fragment, but it looks really good isolated from the sentence above. Maybe if you put a colon after beaten? I don't I think this is amazing. This story accomplished in so few words the tragedy that documentaries and news stories seem to loose in thier jumbles of dates and events. I just thought I'd offer those suggestions since you asked.

Nice one.. Though the thought of the story is somewhat sad along the lines when they were to pay for the child..

I like this.. and especially the last line..

Brilliant - that's one word I can say.. ;D Keep it up!

well this is gnarly. the bargaining puts such a cold, heartless feeling into the story. masterful ending line. hits you like a kick in the nuts. ;P

love, .

so very wrong and world, and it happens. it does

sorrowly done.

so fucking sad but so sweet. maybe i got it wrong, but either way, it's so amazingly written.

It should read "One hand gingerly..." not "On hand gingerly...". Other than that...I like the final "Daddy" a lot, really drives the point home much much more than the rest of the story could have hoped to without it. (heh, with sentences like that one I shouldn't be allowed to write...) anyway I also like how you catagorized it under "horror", that also affects my understanding of it.

sigh... the slave trade... one of the most pristine examples of the absolute corruptness sometimes conjured from the bowels of human society...

JA~