|Reviews for Refusal|
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 4/19/2006
my honesty bores you, / makes you think that I / am / not / me!] Interesting lines; and I love it when you start doing those one-word lines. Those are always cool. I really like the exclamation point, too.
[and things new scare me] I would've said "new things scare me" as I think most peole would have also; but I like this, too. It jarred at first, but only because I'm not used to seeing it worded that way. I like it now, though. It fits better with the flow of this poem.
[I’m a girl with a lot of wilderness behind her / but I like how bright the big city is;] You always pick out one of the best lines of your poem to put in your summary; I love that. I see the "wilderness" as more symbolic than anything else, but it still makes me think of myself. I used to live in the country, in the middle of nowhere, and now I live in the middle of somewhere-that-wants-to-be-a-whole-lot-more. It's not a true city, per se. More like a wannabe city. But it's still too populated for me. I miss my old home every day and can't wait to live in that same type of setting in the future.
[what I say is real (what I write, to)] *too* This line sums up one of the reasons why your poetry is so damn good.
[I’ll cup my hands / over your dry lips / and let you taste / what my father does;] What's up with all these father references lately? I'm guessing you've went through some experience with him lately; he's definitely been on your mind a lot. He's not somebody I remember meeting very often (if ever) in your past work; but lately he's popping up in nearly every single poem.
[the way the moon always rises / disjointedly / between my two window panes / just / two / white orbs / divided - / dismissed,] I love these lines.
[The irony / of my propriety / just another stepping stone in your inventory; / catalogue me / as nothing more then a cheap delight between the verses; / curses / of then / and now] For me, the poem really started to take off with these lines and just about every line that follows.
[but still a liar - am I?] This ending lacks that certain punch that most of your poems end with.
I can't think of what to say about this poem really; I usually have a string of thoughts after reading one of your poems, but I never really connected with this poem. It's still an excellent poem, and it has many great lines, but it's not as good as some of yours. But I also just came from reading "A Daughter Who Prayed," which I believe is one of your best poems, so this poem had a hard act to follow.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/3/2006
i liek this a lot.. not your best, but still great
| kelly14215 chapter 1 . 3/29/2006
WOW! This is really good. I think it is very deep and speaks a lot of truth. I've read a few of your poems and i wish i'm nearly as talented as you!
| MentallyMigrated chapter 1 . 3/25/2006
Okay I'm back with it (mostly) it's strange because I don't think I really have much else to say; that area about the moon is just..artistically stunning.
"Catalogue me"...so impersonal it comes across as, but totally the opposite; it's like we share your outrage at being anonymous. You're one of the smoothest writers when it comes to juxtaposing, it's inspiring and always surprising. I find myself thinking..."oh okay.." when I read you (that might sound strange but in UKslang that's a good thing.)
anyway, look forward to your next update when hopefully I'll be more normal. (like that'll happen.)
| breezy nostrils chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
wow this created me to be overcome with emotion. i think it's the honesty and intensity in here. and the imagery is gorgeous with the moon. too many good lines in here to pick from.
| Kavita Najim chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
Wow, this is AMAZING! The format is pefect, the idea is screaming and whispering emotion! You are an amazing author/poet! I love the idea behind this poem! Peace, Jessi
| Spare Change chapter 1 . 3/24/2006
the breaking of lines give me the image of a girl doing spoken word while sobbing in between words. haha. well, i like it, it's very powerful and there's still more for me to read in this. (had just read it once). good job! :)
| MidnightStar005 chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
Wow! The way that you worded it drew me in further and further.
| Jason J. Ross chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
I agree with "Soft Spoken". You got it! You set a great example for others in the community to follow. Your work is so passionate, so personal. It's very brave of your to expose yourself like this.
| method acting chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
It was nice.
| in theory chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
I nodded almost continually throughout this, I feel like I've wandered/migrated(hah)so fast and far and nowhere near far enough (yet).
Pretty summary. And you seem to wander poetically as well as literally, you grasp the threads of so many concepts. (Love the moon metaphor, I could see it so distinctly in my mind)
The chilling last stanza or so ... gorgeous. "Do I thrill you?" it's strange, authors have so much power. But only over readers, or themself. Interesting, wondering-ful words you use.
More to say but not enough time (I'm off to a djembe lesson) but yeah, hope you caught up with snoozage and extra peace
| Brightstarr-Bella chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
This is, quite truthfully, an amazing poem. This is beautiful use of the English language.
| embarrassing-bs chapter 1 . 3/23/2006
i love this, you always seem to run off further about other things in your poems then you make it go back/connect with the beginning. you have such talent. i would love reading full books of just all your poetry.
keep it going