|Reviews for And Suddenly He Sees Himself|
| Guest chapter 20 . 5/25/2016
This story is fantastic. It's incredible hard to find stories about males with eating disorders. I've been struggling with eating disorders since I was 12, I'm not anorexic, but I've EDNOS and depression, my eating was always the most accurate way to measure my mood, I've this uncontrollable urge to starve myself to death and I like it so much because when I decide to go back to eating I feel like I've accomplished something. By the time I was 17 I'd muscular atrophy on my legs, bradycardia(slow heart beat) of 45bpm when resting, low blood pressure, gastritis and a bunch of other stuff. I'm 22 now and I just lost a huge chunk of my molar because of purging, because I'm relapsing again. But reading this story makes me feel less alone, even tho it's fictional, but the description is so accurate it reminds me I should eat because if I don't eat I'll most likely survive but I'll just keep slowly reducing my life quality and if I ever regret it it'll be too late.
So thank you for writing such a reliable story, that's so so sad it makes me wanna recover.
| azerty chapter 20 . 10/21/2013
This was amazing, really. I'm speechless...
| Subbie chapter 20 . 1/12/2012
Wow... this writing was amazing, and quite frankly scared me... Was this based on a true story? it's very touching, I have chills down my spine.
| Gorgeous Courage chapter 20 . 11/27/2009
Wow..I came back a few days ago, wanting to read this fic again, and finally found it, along with the two other that accompany this one that I hadn't read yet until now.
I absolutely love the way you wrote this piece and the other two as well. You should seriously think about getting this whole bit published..it is absolutely /amazing/..so well written and described and everything. It actually makes you realize what anorexia could do to a person. Right on, awesome job. Kudos. )
| Mademoiselle Rouge chapter 20 . 8/11/2007
That was...wow. I'm speachless, and slightly nauseous. The descriptions of Angers' body were absolutely sickening, and really well done. I honestly don't know much about anorexia (not more than the "daah my size 0 clothes don't fit me anymore, i so must lose weight !" from a friend or two) but I nevertheless found that this story was really well written, described and analyzed. My eyes just stung the entire time (and i even cried !) and god, it hurt *so* much.
I'm truely in awe when it comes to Sam. He's been so brave (bar his attempt to kill himself, but it's completely understandable) and caring. I don't really understand him (what is there to love in 70 pounds of flesh, especially after all this shit he's been through ? - and i don't recall reading a single genuine moment of happiness) but admire him, the love he's got to give, and how he's just there for Angers.
I'm not ever going to try to stick my hand up my throat.
*goes to eat chocolate*
Thanks for this amazing story !
| tiffany chapter 20 . 3/13/2007
wow. I've been reading this for the last three days. It's made me cry and stare in horror. It really is how it is though. Thank you for shring this amazing peice.
| Marinus chapter 20 . 8/31/2006
A very emotional and moving story. The characters are wonderfully portrayed, and you deal with the issues in the story very poignantly.
This is just a superb story, and there's nothing else I can say for it save that it speaks to the heart and the mind, not one or the other - a rare thing indeed.
| Ellipse chapter 20 . 7/4/2006
Amazing! I honestly couldn't stop reading and took in 14 Chapters straight. This actually helps in my real life for my best freind is an anorexic on the mend. I know for sure that this will help me keep strong for him during the bad times. A touching read, thank you.
| astrido chapter 20 . 5/13/2006
great story. really sad, but question i have is what happened to mark.. did he commit suicide?at the beginning the time notes were weird, and maybe put a few people off the story, but you get used to had personal experiences with this topic, didn't you?i mean it would be hard to write it in such detail and go on with it, without...cyu as
| Noetic chapter 20 . 5/1/2006
"So NOW you're done. Fun seemed weird he mentioned that he's red his notes and helped and blah blah blah at the end of this when he said it in more detail at the end of the last chap."
In the last chapter he read through it for the first time, and started to deal with what happened to him (in therapy). Here, he looks through them *again*, as I wrote in the chapter: "It was hard, having to face all those horrors all over again in order to put them into a more coherent form, but I have to do this, for myself as much as for others in my situation."
| UJWF0WFW0FWE0WEF0 chapter 20 . 5/1/2006
So NOW you're done. Fun seemed weird he mentioned that he's red his notes and helped and blah blah blah at the end of this when he said it in more detail at the end of the last chap.
| Noetic chapter 19 . 4/29/2006
"I read it all now. I think this story has been so much fun to read."
Thanks, it's been fun to write, too... I never meant for this to get this... long!
"I could actually see this in published form after editting and reworking."
*Lots of* editing. I kind of like forums where there is a limit on how long you can edit posts for because otherwise I spend the rest of my life rewriting! ;)
"Because, really, how many novels are there about this topic."
Not a lot, though there is some fanfic and webfic out there on it... strange how some things exist only in the anonymity of the Web...
"At the end I did find myself realizing how much I came to liking your characters."
Thanks... again! So did I! It was very strange, because I mean I wrote them... but I somehow got to know and like them as they sort of wrote themselves. If that makes sense. They're probably more real to me now than a lot of people I know in real life. At least I understand them on more levels than I understand most people ;)
"That annoying tense problem(were standing not were stood)"
I will really have to look that one up because it does feel to me like something I have regularly read in the past... but when you point it out it does feel a bit wrong!
"the frequent time changes should be a to priority"
Yep as mentioned in the notes at the end that is something I want to eliminate, at least within a chapter. I don't want a chapter to move more than a day or so ahead, in the end. :)
"and putting Angers POV in much earlier than you did."
Yep, the thing with that though is that it is part of Angstrom's character development that he... finds his own voice. Becomes a person, so to say, because it's only when he faces his demons that he does find his voice.
So I can't write him the way I write Sam or even Mark, not from the start. But yes, the idea is that I wil gradually work tiny bits of Angstrom's PoV into it, that grow and become a fully fledged first person narrative towards the end. (Because even in his diary in "The Boy who wasn't there" he will write 3rd person. It's part of who he his or rather isn't... he defines himself by his problems and it is only after the shock at the end of this story that he finally frees himself from that mindset.
"Not to mention showing more of the characters outside of the "omg you're so skinny Angers *break our crying*"
I think I already have done that to some degree in the many rewrites of earlier chapters... though to be fair I just tended to make Angers cry instead... Because I learned from writing "Creature" that Sam had already been through that aspect of Angstrom's disorder (because it was always clear to me that when they met, Angers was already way into this all, very very badly. So Sam *must* have been through it, he just didn't understand or know what was going on).
So I want to focus more on him trying to understand him and get behind the reasons for his problems. Which hopefully will become clear in "The Boy...". That one pulled things together for me, even though there is only one chapter so far. Suddenly, I understood why he's doing this to himself. (Odd because I made him up to start with!)
| UJWF0WFW0FWE0WEF0 chapter 19 . 4/29/2006
I read it all now. I think this story has been so much fun to read. I could actually see this in published form after editting and reworking. Because, really, how many novels are there about this topic. At the end I did find myself realizing how much I came to liking your characters. Three or four things I think you should fix: That annoying tense problem(were standing not were stood), the frequent time changes should be a to priority, and putting Angers POV in much earlier than you did. Not to mention showing more of the characters outside of the "omg you're so skinny Angers *break our crying*" But anyway, this is your first draft and you rewrite and edit more than like anyone else I bother to read this much of. Lovely. :)
| Noetic chapter 18 . 4/22/2006
"I'm so happy that Mark realized that it was all his fault."
Yep, though I think they all contributed to it, if any one of them had acted differently, it wouldn't have happened.
Must say I don't like Mark as a character too much though... he likes to think of himself as responsible and helpful, but when it comes down to it, he always shoves responsibility to someone else... Let someone else deal with it, that sort of thing...
| UJWF0WFW0FWE0WEF0 chapter 18 . 4/21/2006
At that point Ang must have some serious brain damage from the starvation. Brain shrinkage is not good. I'm so happy that Mark realized that it was all his fault.