Reviews for Deconstruction of a Dancer
Revenge Is Bliss chapter 1 . 5/27/2011
This was deep and perfect. The descriptions are amazing and beautiful. It described anorexia perfectly.
twilightrunner chapter 1 . 8/4/2008
This is great. I'm not sure about the capitalization, and I think it would be more profound if you took the very last line out. (Maybe just because I love "I can dance with broken feet" so much.) Excellent word choice.
sporkofdoom chapter 1 . 11/20/2006
"I can dance with broken feet"

This is raw, sharp, vivid, powerful, beautiful. Again, I am impressed to death.
Violet Marx chapter 1 . 11/14/2006
I wonder if you meant 'pointed, arched, turned out smiling' to be a sentence together. If you did, it was a great idea. 'Turned out smiling', I don't know, it just appeals to me.

'tongues roil iridescent in/rainbow spit' beautiful in a grotesque kind of way.

'i can dance with broken feet/but no she can't seem to rise from her knees.' is a sign of determination, yet going too far.

...yet it's about anorexia? If so, it's about that in a very subtle way. The first stanza hints that the most.
andrealiz chapter 1 . 5/18/2006
the first word that popped into my head after i read this-diane.

she's that crazy dancer who doesn't give up her spot to an understudy even though her ankles are the size of softballs; broncitis and the flu never stopped her.

she's my dance coach and every single word you have in caps is everything that i do wrong.

1. toes are not pointed every time they leave the floor2. turn out? yeah, NONEXISTENT.3. see #24. smiling-i have that one down to a science.

this was absolutely beautiful. you don't stop dancing until you physically cannot lift your body off the ground.

-ae
Prevaricate chapter 1 . 5/16/2006
"blood spools down drooping ribbons"

Great assonance in that line.

I like it overall... nice picture of fragility. I'm not big on the words in all-caps, but maybe you were doing something with it I didn't catch.

"i can dance with broken feet"

great line, there.
gryffindork09 chapter 1 . 5/12/2006
one is definitely one of my favorites. it's so.. real. keep writing!
bleed gilead chapter 1 . 4/6/2006
morbid and fascinating. i can't stop the images forming, even as i'm creeping myself out. i love the audience stanza especially, it's vivid and surreal and- fantastic work.
Jezsh chapter 1 . 4/4/2006
this creates THE most incredible image. It's like a nightmare in the night, the faces of the audiences twisting and blurring. And she just carries on dancing, dancing, dancing. Wow what a fantastic piece. Tragedy and horror.
Dee Dub chapter 1 . 4/3/2006
"the audience fades forward" is like my favorite line ever.

I love how it supposed to be beautiful, but is just pretty gross...in a good way. Beautiful work.
lackluster chapter 1 . 3/31/2006
gorgeous imagery.
GoodbyeDeleteThisPage chapter 1 . 3/28/2006
glad to be considered a part of the best favorite authors list on ficitonpress. i checked it out. definitly has some of my favorites.

now this:i think one of the most ironic symbols of beauty is a ballerina. i can't look at those frail forms without thinking of the scarred, blistered feet that are painting the inside of those satin slippers red with blood and puss. this poem is the vision of that beauty, which is full of horror. you captured that sickening obsession. but oh-how i wish i could be a ballet dancer...barely there body, oh the grace...my toes and feet horrible to bare. you understand. and that mentality they must have for perfection-"i can dance with broken feet" heartbreaking.
the naked civil servant chapter 1 . 3/28/2006
"the audience fades forward, lurching in

phantom leaps, backs ARCHED and mouths dripping

with oil dregs."

just... THAT... that ALONE& the last LINE... my god. phantoms. oil dregs. broken feet. these are words i can see myself muttering in my sleep.
beti213 chapter 1 . 3/28/2006
wow. this made me wince several times, and in a good way-because the images you present were so distressing. this piece is painful to read. haha I should almost stop reviewing your work because I have nothing to say except that I love it. love this too.
crazy dog events chapter 1 . 3/27/2006
I had to cringe at this. It was so vivid. Poems on anorexia usually end up sounding the same, but this one was wonderfully different, and very effective. It's going on my favorite's list, actually.
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