|Reviews for Second Chance|
| PoisonxHeart chapter 2 . 9/4/2006
Wow. This hit a little too close to home. I can, unfortunately, say that I've been down a road like this. Not exactly with drugs but the same concept. It was really good, though. One of those, "shit, this makes me think" stories. Lovely.
| Collar de Espinas chapter 2 . 6/16/2006
Oh, ops! I thought this was a multi-chaptered thing. *lol*
No, I'm not the brightest spark today...
However, this was SO much better. The development was better and you've made everything much clearer, in particular Jade's drug problem.
Now, I really shouldn't be the one to harp on about being concise when I'm a rambling extraordinaire, but you managed to edit this down perfectly. A very good job, I dare say.
Right, off to read more of your stuff! See, this is the good thing about feeling poorly and not going to work...LOTS of reading time!
| Collar de Espinas chapter 1 . 6/16/2006
Y'know what? I love Winterbridge. She directed me to your page and instructed me to review and thus, here I am a'reviewing.
And I'm so glad that my trip was worth it.
From this first chapter I've already deduced that I love the way that you write. I think that even if the story summary didn't start off stating M/M, I would have been able to figure out that Rae is not a girl. It's in his actions and the way you've written him that seems to make it pretty clear we're looking at things through the eyes of a guy. Or at least that's what I think anyway.
As a whole this was a pretty good chapter, though I have to admit I was somewhat surprised by the end of it. I don't think the whole drug problem was prevalent throughout the chapter and I only really began to catch the hints towards the end. However, it was still a good read and I'll be reading on now!
| Limited Edition chapter 1 . 4/9/2006
Woah this took a while for me to get around to hehe. You've developed and come closer to your own language in this fic. I can more clearly hear your writers voice and the descriptions aren't elaborate yet paint vivid pictures. In the paragraph where he takes Jade down the stairs, at first there's a mention of "the sound of the TV being the only thing hearable", but then there's a mention of the rain tapping against the window; rather contradictory eh?I'm not sure if it's even needed for the reader to know that the narrator is male. It's rather useless information, irrelevant to the story itself. If it was relevant it would somehow trancend and the reader would become aware of midways through the story the descriptions become rather unclear, the pictures more general and everything goes fast. It start to become like the skeleton of a story and I'd suggest you think more about that for at least your other stories."I’m sitting with my eyes closed and my head back against the couch, straining my eyes so I can keep them shut tightly, away from the world." Try not to describe the same thing twice. Describe it properly when you describe it to not have to return to it again. And the "away from the world" part is unclear somehow and therefore might seem excessive. Also, I'd suggest you put the part about decisions and life and death as a sort of introduction so that the matter of the story is introduced. I mean that it should be more in the beginning, perhaps after you've come into the story. When I read the story I quite didn't get the point of it because of that, and the problems with the drugs weren't that clear. The story in itself is awesome, I love it!
| SerialXLain chapter 1 . 3/31/2006
This is sad...made me cry, meanie face. My friend is having issues with drugs and I don't know...I'm scared for him...yup...
I liked this though. I love your style of writing so much. No matter what story I read of yours I always end up loving it.
If you want to make it clear that Rae's a dude... "He sobbed and dug his face into my chest" Maybe you could specify it's a boobless chest or something like that... I have no idea. I have the same problem sometimes.
Just to let you know...I read all of your newish poems and I loved them all, but I felt like I was intruding or reading something that didn't belong to me or wasn't meant for me to read...just because they were so personal. That's why I didn't review. They just seemed too real to review... I hope you don't mind or anything.
| Corinna chapter 1 . 3/30/2006
hey,its me, scine i last read it u really have developed it, i found it intresting how you made 2 controversal things into a story,gays and drugs.. i really liked it, although, considering who u have for a teacher do you think u can get away with it? i found it exellent 9/10 ..loved the story line,love all of it...you will make a great author if you stick with it..