Reviews for The Pawnshop
Hazine chapter 1 . 3/16/2013
"Most people don't realize what they have in front of them until they've lost it... so learn to see what you have beside you before its gone, and understand that the others that let you walk away from them are the ones missing out - that it wasn't your fault, but theirs." Mercury, thank you for writing this article.
Shadow Gryphon chapter 1 . 5/5/2006
That was sweet. I honestly wasn't expecting the ending to be like that.

But the second-last line, after he says "Just a promise" you capitalized he by accident. Is all.

Gryph
hope for rent chapter 1 . 4/27/2006
Oh, how I wish I could write like this. The emotions are just right (despair, sadness, indifference, apathy) and everything is clear... yet it isn't. It requires thought, but it's not so convoluted that you won't understand.

I hate having to write short stories (mainly because for class they must have a point), but I love reading them. I've read most of your other works, as well, and... I think I've run out of complimentary things to say. So I'll leave before I end up resorting to 'omg I luvd ur story!11!1'.

Indy
Owl-of-Artemis chapter 1 . 4/15/2006
oh wow. I really like this one, in fact, enough to have it as a favorite. Bravo! Such goodness.
Move Mercury chapter 1 . 4/2/2006
Thank you all so much for the lovely comments. :) And I agree that parts of my sentence structure are definitely awkward - I've been trying to work on it, with varying success.
Carly chapter 1 . 4/1/2006
This is really beautiful! I liked it a lot. Some of the sentence structure is awkward for oral recitation (like the parenthetical quotations), but on the whole it was great.

Five Stars!
Lauren Wolfe chapter 1 . 4/1/2006
Ah...wow. Interesting! Though I have to admit that it kinda made me think of Alfred Bester's "Psychoshop"...the one he collaborated with another writer whose name I forget...((amazing writer is he!))

Anyway, I love the elusive note at the end...wow! Keep it up!
hey maria chapter 1 . 4/1/2006
I love this. It's almost like a fairy tale or fable, but more real. Great job.