|Reviews for Dancing with Danger|
| JaeMinYuu chapter 3 . 6/17/2013
Okay, 3 chapters in, I love the arrangement Bernard's gotten himself into x3 Sebastin seems genuinely good, but theres also something shady about the whole arrangement that keeps me on my toes, I can't wait to find out more about the exact business Sebastin is involved in, there seems to be more to him than what meets the eye!
I like Jessie too, he a bit of comic relief and his playful flirting is amusing. I like how when Bernard is dancing he closes his eyes and the reader sort of gets to slip into his shoes and feel the dance as opposed to mentally visualizing it.
I also liked how he went from being shy and clumsy to being a little more brazen, when he challenges Sebastin and gives him smart mouthed answers and goes on about breaking the rules and such, its fun! Its cool how he keeps saying he's doing it for the money, but his crush is apparent and it makes me wonder if money really is the whole issue, especially since Sebastin has brought him back to his house.
Now that I'm done praising and fangirling, I'mma throw in some constructive crit, and I haven't particularly much to offer, I like the story and I like the characters, whats there to complain about! Well, there is one thing.
I don't like the "Hey guys, I hope you like the story ... I'll post another chapter later etc etc" at the start and end of your chapters. Its a little distracting, as I reach the end of the chapter and I'm really getting into the story and ready to flick to the next page suddenly there is this authors commentary that snaps me out of the story and intercepts the flow a little. You don't need these little author to reader messages in each chapter, its a little off putting since the story itself speaks volumes! :)
I'm going to read more and look forward to seeing where Bernard ends up :).
| firefox vixen chapter 17 . 2/28/2012
| Xandrea chapter 17 . 12/29/2011
This is such a great story. It's a little rough around the edges but it's still great. Like I've said before you are an amazing writer. I just love all of your stories. I can't get enough of them. I hope you decide to continue this at some point. I noticed its been a while since you updated. Anyways, happy writing. :)
| GrimreaperSR chapter 17 . 11/3/2011
Damn! It was starting to get exciting!
| Veritas chapter 5 . 12/5/2010
Ok, this is an interesting story but having gotten to this chapter I notice two things.
1. You really, really need to either double check before posting or get a beta. There are missing spaces between words, words that aren't real like 'irrated' for 'irritated' or aren't used correctly etc. I think maybe you're also missing the correct key while typing. Such as a 'v' where a 'b' should be. 'Shuckled' isn't a word. 'Chuckled' is a word and what I think you were going for.
2. Your author's notes in parenthesis in the middle of sentences are kind of annoying and really detract from the story. It's a very clear break from the narrator's voice. You already do author's notes at the end of chapters so you can just add whatever you feel needs explaining there :)
Sorry if it feels like I'm flaming you but it's a nice story and mistakes like that could really turn some people off.
| midnight to dusk chapter 17 . 12/1/2010
OHH MYY GODD! finish this please? (A)
| pille-ip chapter 17 . 7/29/2010
This is good, you should continue it sometime!
| NightRayne chapter 17 . 6/12/2009
GAH! you havent updated for 2 years and 6 months! ugh...not good...i have read your other two stories to the point where you have stopped and im freaking out because there is none left to give me my fix! ahh...i love your stories...please dont abandon me and bernard and varano and roscoe and kamau and jiya and sharif and me! we miss you!
13 desserts of you most fantastical disires,
| AngelandDemon chapter 17 . 5/28/2009
really great stories!
| Kassandra Duric chapter 17 . 2/6/2009
Very nice story. I really liked it. I hope everything will turn out ok though. With the hold Bernard's secret identity, and the hole Antino situation. I wander how long that secret will stay a secret though. lol
Hurry and update. _
| Kassandra Duric chapter 14 . 2/5/2009
Just marking my spot. _ But I really really do like it so far.
| Kassandra Duric chapter 8 . 2/2/2009
Very interesting. I like it so far. Just reviewing to mark my place.
| Bluorange chapter 3 . 4/5/2008
Heehee... Leash fetish. I love Jessie, he's so cute - Yay! Your characters are so funny and cute. There are a few spelling and typing mistakes, nothing big though. This story is awesome so far!
Rock On, Peace Out
| Lardlax chapter 1 . 12/19/2007
Oh, a dancer? In a gay bar I hope :p
I'm enjoying this, but I did notice some mistakes. It's really just a spellchecker thing though, and nobody's perfect, so I'm not going to be really harsh about them. I have picked 2 examples:
" I'm Bernard by the wasy."
"waited for the elecator doors to open"
It's not like they're major problems or anything though.
| WizardsGirl chapter 17 . 7/27/2007
Okay, not much happened, but it was still a fine peice of writing!