Reviews for All Fall Down
jennifer chapter 11 . 3/29/2008
i thought that this chapter was one of the best! the reason that i really liked it was because before i saw Caleb as sort of a jerk. but this showed a whole new side to him in which i wanted zai and him to hook up. by the end i was wishing that he would have just kissed her...before this chapter i was totally going for rowen. what i also liked is that they did not do anything because it made that tug between them even more clear. i love your story thus far i hope that you keep writing and finish the story because i am totally hooked. i also like your style, i am always laughing when i read this and people think i am crazy because i am on the train or bus. but the plot and charaters are strong which i like alot. so please keep writing and doing a great job.

aims80 chapter 7 . 3/13/2008
I'm really enjoying this story. I have to also say that I love your writing style- it's easy to read without being non-descriptive or low on details like many stories can be and your characters are well developed and feel like real people. I will keep reading the remaining chapters and look forward to more updates. Keep up the good work!
Removed01 chapter 10 . 5/16/2007
Yo! It did take you MONTHS, six or something. What the hell? Thankfully for you and I, I still remember what the story is about, for me cos it always annoys me when I have to re-read, and well for you cos... I remember! And that says SOMETHING, considering my memory... sucks, plain simple. It means I like your story! So fuck, ppl should write cos they like it, and want to, and for themselves, but remember the readers (like ahem, say, me?) who want to keep reading... Am I not evil, or what? Hihihi. I could be a lawyer for all I know.

-Lol- That's so true, these are the times to get piss wasted; we went to a congress in another city last week and we mostly got drunk (and nodded off) instead of actually paying attention. I love university life.

Aw naw, Rowen is a dead man! (Never mind the fact that he stood her up). It was funny the way Zaida got to that conclusion, haha. You know, Alexander Caleb somehow made me think of Alexander The Great, what with the innuendos of nudity and all... I got this really perky mental image at that -chuckle-. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh damn, I'm loving the whole thing, it's hilarious. Isn't it one of the things you'd wish to see happening in real life? Use the boss... He's a nice boss too (ignoring the obvious facts), to let her treat him like that and not fire her, or put her on the black list. It's curious how Stella and Zaida got together again, in a friendly way, god damn. The waiter... Loved it! -Lol- I'm acquainted with evil plans of that kind. Ohh... Zai... Care to join me? Oohh... OOHH. You better not leave us (me!) hanging for more years, ey?

You got more descriptions now! If you keep this up I might stop bugging you about it, how does that sound? Wee!

Aye, I got posted... stuff now. Another one-shot, and another story (this other story is a sweetling, I can't believe I came up with it. The explanation is that I dreamt a chunk of it xD).

Read ya! Take care.

Best Wishes from AG
Lee Vindication chapter 10 . 4/22/2007
Haha, I think I'm in love with Stella; which is sad in two respects, considering she's fictional and I'm straight. What a great story. I can't wait to read more of this. Stupid Rowen, standing her up like that. Anyways, I hope you update soon, I'll be sure to read it.

-Emilee Vinn
insane in the brain chapter 10 . 4/21/2007
I'm sorry! -meek look- Ignore my last review, I really though you said Ivan was a hoe in a typo...
insane in the brain chapter 4 . 4/21/2007
“Ivanhoe, it’s good to see you sweetheart, you really shouldn’t work so hard darling,” his mother practically cooed.

"Ivan [how]" unless Ivan really is a hoe xD
insane in the brain chapter 3 . 4/21/2007
“Zaida the alcoholic, how good to see you’re as weird as ever.”

I would but "Good to know you're as weird as ever," but I like the chapter :)
insane in the brain chapter 2 . 4/21/2007
LOL. I have a friend called Rowan (girl), when we first met and introduced ourselves via mutual friends, I asked her," DUDE, you're named after a TREE? Are your aprents hippies?" -.-

I wonder if there are Oaks, Nutmegs and Bellsprouts walking around...
insane in the brain chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
“Well Zaida Appleton, I’m Alex Caleb from Remington, Caleb and Jones, and now I know why you didn’t show to the interview. If it makes you feel any better, I’m sorry for covering you with crap, I was in a hurry to,” the sides of his mouth twitched “to make the interview in time.”

Show [up] to the interview...

I was in a hurry [too]...
aims80 chapter 1 . 3/18/2007
I really like your writing style and am looking forward to reading more of this story!
Removed01 chapter 9 . 9/21/2006
Even though you say it's a filler I don't. In most cases chapters that many authors/esses say it's a filler it's not, why the hell am I saying this? Because if it's a chapter it has to have something, and it doesn't need to be a super exciting thing, or a shocking chapter that has a tragic accident or a revelation (that only happens in soap operas, that's why most are sucky, cos it's all WHOA! after WHOA! until one's like bah, go to hell, this is surreal); a chapter in where it seems all simple can have as objective to make the characters grow, either grow themselves or into the readers. So we saw some new faces of Zaida in this chapter to help us see how her personality is like, such as her tendency to repeat herself when she's fulstered, use synonymous to say the same things, and her telling to Caleb that she wasn't a cheerleader and for him not to judge her... So I don't think it's a filler.

Ah, your description was fairly good at the beginning, but once you started the dialogues you forgot about it. I take it you're a dialogues kinda writer? If you want to add more description but it's hard when you first write, then do your chapters as normally and add some description in the end after it's done (cos at times the description makes you forget what in the fuck you were gonna say, heh).

Caleb screwed once! He's the "bad boy" of the story. Honest to hell I normally feel err, attracted, to say, to the bad boys, but you know, this story is an exception, I actually like Rowen better, you convinced me to go against my normal current. I have a feeling you like Caleb better though, what with the very male laugh and all.

Well, I got some news, hehe, bit of advertising, with some shame though. I've replied to the reviews, please go to my profile and "follow the instructions" (pff hahaha) so you can read my thanks to you (ahahaha). I also published my first story here, perhaps you'll like it. (To be honest, I don't like advertising myself, so I apologize).

Don't neglect the story and update as soon as you can!

Best Wishes from AG
icedfaerie chapter 9 . 9/10/2006
Great story you have here! I really like the plot and the characters! Especially Zaida..her name is very interesting, where is it from?

Can't wait until the next chapter.
Removed01 chapter 8 . 7/15/2006
So that means you've read my profile O.o

Well, well. What do we have here. They're about to dance! -gasp- I wonder if Rowen will see them on it, slump his shoulders and walk away with a cute pout on his lips. To be honest this chapter's made it harder for me to like one of them better. It's a bit like Bridget Jones Diary, in the part in where you can't pick which of the men is better until one (or both) fuck things up. Just that there hasn't been any slides here, yet. Assuming there might be.

Although at the moment I think I'm liking Rowen better.

Despite one having a knack for liking the apparent guy with attitude issues.

Hmm... decisions...

I have a small friendly suggestion. If I'm allowed to. To help us get in the atmosphere and understand what the characters are doing in the situation, and even show a bit of their quirks, you could use a little more description.

Well, I feel really surprised and honoured that you want to read my work. Even with no previous reference. Thanks. Also, I hope its up to your expectations, and that it won't disappoint you. I'm working on one already.

Me likes. Update as soon as you can!

Best Wishes from AG

PS: I'll wait for the cookies.
tawnyfawn chapter 8 . 7/5/2006
Oh my god! I'm so torn! My soul is in two! I'm having heart palpitations! Well, okay... no heart palpitationsas of yet. But my soul definitly IS in two. P

Rowan or Caleb! I just can't decide. I mean, Rowan is an artist, who is good with children, and is cheesy and just so NICE. But then Caleb is just so fine, and charismatic, and almost screwed up a million-dollar deal and is actually really nice to his friends and has a TONGUE RING! Which is just so cool it's ce cold. ... Okay, I can't believe I just said that. Let me rephrase: which is just so cool it's... very cool. ;

Anyway, do you see my dillema? Who do I support in the Zaida-getting stakes? Rowan or Caleb? I mean, she is going out with Rowan, but she just DANCED with Caleb. DANCED! Dancing is a very, very bad sign. (Or a very, very good soign, depending on which way you look at it.)

Anyway, I think I've pretty much given up on giving constructive crit to you... There's just no painful gramatical errors at all, AND you can actually write your characters well. So I'm having issues.

Oh, I hope this whole dance-scene is continued next chapter... What will be Rowan's reaction? *gasp* Actually, knowing him, some cheesy line. ;

And what about that bet... Something to do with Zaida, right?
Plinky chapter 8 . 7/5/2006
Oh no. I see badness coming.

You know how it's coming? Because I start really making up words. This only happens when I get completely boy obsessed (Tick) or I see badness coming (tick).

Alex is dangerly dangerous. However fun it is to lust over him (Oh definitely definitely definitely ;D I could sit here all day) I don't want her to end it with Rowen!

The tongue ring! OMG! That's awesome!

And I bet the bet was about Zaida, and who would get her, am I right?

How did I see the badness coming, I here you ask. Well, she's beginning to see Rowen in a slightly less flattering light, and she's clicked with Caleb.

But Caleb's so hot. Oh lord. I don't know.

Can I just say - I meant to say last chapter, that I can completely identify with the Caleb thing? *Giggle* I feel bad for it but I can. ;)

And they danced together! That's a bad bad bad sign!

I can think of no new crits. *Pouts*

Oh no, wait... let me think...

Okay. Recently, I think the emphasis has been a little more on Caleb than on Rowen, and I don't just mean this last chapter, but the last couple. And although I have a feeling it's coming, it seems that she should at least be thinking a little more about Rowen... I don't know. Maybe.

Can you tell I'm scraping the bottom of the criticism barrel? See, you've bypassed all my usual pit-stops, and so I have to be creative for your story! Grr. Hehe. It's good actually, you test my critting skills.

I don't know. See the last review for criticisms, I think. I still feel a little lacking on the appearance front. But that's all I can think of.

Keep writing, and update soon!
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