|Reviews for Query|
| Halcyon Impulsion chapter 1 . 7/6/2006
I seem to remember reading and reviewing this before, but maybe not here. Imperfect rhyme or not, this is haunting and tortured.
| SaRmelLexia chapter 1 . 5/24/2006
i think it doesn't really matter that you lose the rhyme...the poem is still beautiful..i like how you take your perspective...its unique...)
Lots Of Love, Hugs n Kisses
| With Rhyme and Reason chapter 1 . 5/19/2006
Excellent. I really like this. I very much really seriously like this with excess like to put in a pile for you to enjoy later when you're bored. There's nothing I appreciate more than religious poetry about the beings God "dislikes." Your Satan poem was phenomenal, but I ALMOST liket this better. You very subtly bring in the free will "argument": "Father, Father, what of me? / I am only what You made me, only what You gave me. / Why did You make me so weak? / Why did You make me to betray the King?" Ah, VERY nice! It reminds me of your other poem: "I AM WHAT YOU MADE ME, FATHER!" or something to that effect. Aren't we all pushed towards our eventual fates? And if that's true, why does God condemn certain people to hell before they are even born? If He is omnipotent and all-knowing, why did he allow Satan's revolt? Judas's betrayal? Eve's treachery? Food for thought. But not on a Friday. Very nice poem-one of the best I've read in a VERy long time. Good job.
| chaos called creation chapter 1 . 4/6/2006
Good pace, the repetition in the beginning and in the end heightens the dramatic effect.
| Smoky Bear chapter 1 . 4/6/2006
it stared out ok, but you loose the beat with the rhyme, which is a shame because there is a considerable amount of gusto in the opening stanza. the concept is really good though, and there are a lot of workable aspects in the poem... if you where to re-draft in the future, you'd make a much better piece of it.