Reviews for Moss
His-Tiger chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
shannon chapter 1 . 4/21/2006
there seems to be apattern somewhat in ur identical poems like in the poems talkign about a girl with sex like a prostitute it seems u almost alway have something in it about her wishing it was like her dad?any special reason for this?like is it just something that sounds goos or is there meant to be a pattern if thats what it is?
With Rhyme and Reason chapter 1 . 4/19/2006
Ah, interesting. Incest... another theme that never really gets old. If you've read any of William Faulkner's work, you'll know what I mean. (If you've not read Faulkner, you most certainly should, as a writer, for you'd benefit greatly-I know I have.) The problem I have with this poem is that you insert offensive "non-poetic" words like "butt" and "shit" and "cat-litter" and that ended up wrecking a lot of it for me. I understand that's part of the piece's "shock value"... but still, it just didn't do it for me.

I like how your work is so haunted. It borders on insanity, and I mean that in a good way.

One more comment, before I wonder off into the abyss that is FictionPress... I don't know if you're into allegory or metaphor, but when I started out this poem, I thought maybe the girl mentioned was a personification of America (if you're American, that is), with the "Daddy" being England and then there are some obscure references to the Revolutionary War, slavery, etc. At any rate, this is cool, even if you didn't know you were doing it.

If you have any complaints about my review, kindly let me know. I try to be helpful, but I know sometimes I end up coming off as a complete bitch.

Best to you,Julie
tsym chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
Harsh and provocative.

A touchy subject that few will touch.

Good job.
Souls' Tears chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
Yo yo yo Holly Rose! Great poem-it's so full of insights-very thought-provoking. Great Job! Vaya con Dios!
Honey and Tar chapter 1 . 4/12/2006
"She has to love everyoneThe only way she knows howFlat on her backHer breasts full of heliumReady to float her awayTo a sky thatRolls angrily

She romps throughHer own shitShe thinks its cat-litterHer giant sandboxThat sunny dayDaddy got that glint"

my favourite section, your strongest also

keep writing hun
WormsofCharacter chapter 1 . 4/10/2006
Thank you so much for the review, since I am in a rut and can't write shit right now. So few people review older , I like this poem. I love, love, LOVE imagery, and I have a morbid inclination towards touchy subjects. Oh what a beautiful HAVE to read Francesca Lia Block. Read The Hanged Man. Do it...
in theory chapter 1 . 4/7/2006
Interesting style, creepy subject. Real life is always the most malleable of subjects I find (though I contradict myself because as we speak I'm working on a stupidly whimsical piece) But nice job anyway, you really captured the scene.
Isabella22 chapter 1 . 4/7/2006
except for the things you listed in the summery good job.

but i don't really care about that. ur problem, not mine. lol! I'm all for the poetry!