|Reviews for A Day of Conversation|
| A Ruling Without A Clue chapter 1 . 5/8/2006
I like this alot, the rhyming near the end is a lot like the kind of rhyming I tend to use. You might want to go over the then/than, cause some of those thens should be thans I think, unless I misread the poem. other than that, good one.
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 4/30/2006
This has a wonderful buzzing sensation about it. "mellow commotion", is such a marvelously contrasting phrase that fits so well in this. Good work.
| hoowdoideletethisaccount chapter 1 . 4/28/2006
Alright, I've read this poem twice, and I still don't really get it. The imagery is very pretty, but I don't get what some of it has to do with anything else. :D Maybe I'm just half-asleep or something, I dunno. Feel free to roll your eyes at my comments. hehe
-My little girl hands- I like that opening descriptor. Small, innocent, frail, sweet. It gives the whole piece a shimmering air of fragility.
-can’t shake clean the wasted edge / of a line / straighter / then the curved ocean.- I'm not sure why someone would compare a line with a curve, unless it was an extremely crooked line-which I suppose it is, as it's "wasted". So that makes sense once one thinks through it. I still don't know what the line is, though; unless it's totally figurative, speaking of the "lines" of communication between two people, words and how often inadequate they are, and the even more telling language of movement and expression.
-More hello / then goodbye, / mellow commotion- *than. I love the word "mellow", too. :) And I like the first two lines, as they're actually very hopeful-they embrace the idea that this communcation is going to continue, stumbling though it may be, and eventually they'll understand where one another's coming from.
-without having to try / to press away the sleep / from your wicker-woven eyelashes.- Nice imagery! Reminds me of little old ladies weaving baskets together, and someone with tangled hair and tangled eyelashes.
-Bypassing poetry- like it's just a little too complex, and they need to get back to the basics.. or just commenting that no one else knows what they're talking about, but they know?
-and two pale pillars- I don't get that line. Unless it means two people?
-pointing like ivy grown so thick / that it covers; it shutters; / it mutters in a stranger still language / that they call / words.- I really love these closing lines. Again, this sort of uncertain, hopeful, tangled imagery. Very beautiful. :)
And thanks for the review. Take care!
| run rabbit run chapter 1 . 4/28/2006
nice work. i like this a lot. you are way better n me at this stuff. cheers-rabbit
| sunday night sky chapter 1 . 4/25/2006
'can’t shake clean the wasted edge
of a line
then the curved ocean.'i love that section, it flows so perfectly. wonderful.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 4/21/2006
like this... especially that ending.. great piece.. thanks for your review.. the whole hamlet thing wasnt supposed to be about him at all.. it was about me the only part that was suppossed to relate to him was the ending.. the rest wasnt meant to relate
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 4/21/2006
[My little girl hands] For as strong a woman as you seem to be, I've noticed quite a few poems where you throw in the little girl image of vulnerability; I find it interesting.
[can’t shake clean the wasted edge / of a line / straighter / then the curved ocean.] Amazing lines.
[mellow commotion] I love the world "mellow."
[without having to try / to press away the sleep / from your wicker-woven eyelashes.] More great lines, even if I don't really get the meaning behind "wicker-woven eyelashes."
[Bypassing poetry / and two pale pillars / pointing like ivy grown so thick / that it covers; it shutters; / it mutters in a stranger still language / that they call / words.] Excellent imagery. Each line is amazing.
This was an amazing poem on every level. The rhythm was great; the imagery was especially amazing. Every line is five-star quality. But ... I have no idea what this poem is about. Your poetry can often be interpreted in different ways, as it speaks to people in different ways. But this is one of those pieces that I'd have to spend hours over, analying and dissecting, attempting to see the hidden meaning behind each word. I'm still half-asleep; I've got sleep-gook on my "wicker-woven eyelashes" still. This poem told me to go get a shower or something to wake myself up so my brain will be able to understand things better.
Excellent poem, though.
| Seras Nova chapter 1 . 4/18/2006
M...I felt like closing my eyes in nostalgia while reading this (although then I wouldn't be able to finish the poem!) Beautiful imagery and emotion behind this. Well done.
| lastwrites chapter 1 . 4/14/2006
Interesting choice of words and verses. I really like it.
| elasticbobaturtle chapter 1 . 4/10/2006
The word choice is so clever and paints such a quirky image. I love the words you put together (some oxymorons); mellow commotion, wicker-woven. Sweet.
| Pesadilla Mortal chapter 1 . 4/10/2006
First, may I thank you for the reviews.
Second: Your writing is filled with imagery and chock full of strong emotion. This was a beautiful piece.
| White Tea and Ginger chapter 1 . 4/9/2006
love this, beautiful.
| Beauty From Pain chapter 1 . 4/8/2006
Wow, that was beautiful. I loved the metaphors and all the imagery in your poem. And the ending - 'it mutters in a stranger still language that they call words' - awesome way to end it. Keep writing; you really have talent. And thanks so much for reviewing my poem; it really meant a lot to me. :)
| SeaVoi chapter 1 . 4/8/2006
Your writing is the mojo of poetry. That is all I have to say.
| in theory chapter 1 . 4/8/2006
Firstly, now I know how you probably felt after I wrote that "juliet would know what I mean" in an AN a while ago. Like I'm temporarily promoted to an allseeing being or something hehe. I think the wicker-woven eyelashes spoke to me clearest, but I'd better start at the beginning.
"my little girl hands" is cute, like you acknowledge your innocence and play on it. Make it seem vulnerable when we really know that in those hands is a pen of a dangerous woman. (but provocative-dangerous, if that makes more sense). And I might be presuming totally the wrong thing, but is the title about yesterday's marathon of writing/reading and reviewing? (on that note, I know what you mean about the triple threat thing, it's been said about me before but not in those words. I review an obscene amount, I think I'm up to 40 now and I've only been here 2 years. Granted almost all of those are poems though..) It would make sense. I guess reading and reviewing people's work is like conversation, a game of literary tennis with neither really in control. Technically starting with the title would have been the beginning (that's only just occured to me though and I really don't have the energy to delete what I've just typed and retype it in a logical order).
Without having to try press away the sleep from your wicker-woven eyelashes. This is by far my favourite handful of lines, especially the wicker bit. It reminds me of the minidebate we had yesterday about Newsom, and recycling words that are just too apt to ignore. Aquafied said in a review yesterday that she wonders if people rewrite the same thing and not know it. (got me thinking, might sound odd but think how long people have been selfexpressing with words). I don't know if it's always the same meaning though, which is where things are different. Newsom probably meant it entirely differently to the imagery you give it of lacey eyelashes, mashed and rubbed together from tired eyes needing sleep. That whole reference opens up the idea of borrowing words and reshaping them, so they mean different things entirely but are still essentially the same. "more hello than goodbye, mellow commotion".. those lines puzzled me a bit (again I'm backtracking, but I just rethunk 'em) and now I'm questioning my judgement. If I read them without a clue as to the author, I would think it was about people misunderstanding the meanings of words, that you mean to say a word can mean its opposite (like saying you're happy but with looking desperate, often confuses me when people do that.) But to be honest I got to wonderin' about that.
The bypassing poetry and two pale pillars lines are clearer (it seems ironic that the point of the poem is about the complexities of words and more than one of the lines are complex enough to meditate on for hours. Well maybe not ironic, just well thought out?) The pale pillars almost made me giggle out loud like a (god forbid) underage schoolboy. It sounds instinctively like a pair of legs or something bizarre. I interpret this as a representation of poets, pillars (not sure which two I'd choose to take the place of the two you depict) but yeah, pillars that support expression with words, leading to understanding but wrapped up in ivy (the words) that drag them down and tangle them up. Sometimes the ivy strengthens them, or at least eventually, but other times it can get leach off the strength. That's how I'd see poetry; an optional gift available to anyone, but it attacks people differently; both readers and writers of it. And the stranger still language part makes me reconsider a little..
You know I never reach a actual decision about how to interpret something, I'll definitely be reconsidering for awhile. This is one of your more cryptic ones, I think many,many writers tackle the issue of words at some point (how, when, why, which to use etc) and not so many break new ground. This is almost a different facet to your work, it feels richer and a little more open to random (rambling) interpretations. I don't mean by that though that your other work is spoonfed, because nothing could be less true, but at least in those pieces the imagery is more appealing to the senses and less to the innate ability/issue of communication. Like your images in this appeal to your understanding of the language we talk in every day, the language we think in. It's deeper, a more foundation-based poem.
This really is one of the most stupidly long reviews I've ever written (especially for poetry; I usually rant for hours with antihomosexuality essays or similar). So yeah, hope I didn't bore you rigid, or miss the mark too entirely. And I know what you mean about the slightly giddy feeling of being mentioned, it's like a kind of diluted happy. Hope all is well (.. think I exhausted my poem-muscle, might give it another crack when I've done some more coursework; got the whole of 2 weeks at the disposal of my imagination!binge poetry here we come!)
truly (decided wishing people peace was a little boring, sometimes excitement is more fun), j