|Reviews for Prophecy of a Hero|
| Robin Siskin chapter 1 . 4/30/2006
Elodie is a pretty cliche character. I couldn't tell you how many rebellious tomboys I've read about who've been sent to finishing school, and I can't tell you how many more have had their hearts melted by attractive men before being told that they have to save the world.
Your style is also very blunt and a little too simple. You don't describe scenes well enough for people to have an image of the scenes in their minds.
I noticed a few errors, too. You may want to run your story through a beta just to make sure the grammar's all running smoothly.
If you review one of my things, I'd prefer it to be By Blood and Iron.
| Crescendoesque chapter 1 . 4/30/2006
There are a couple of grammatical mistakes in this chapter, but not so many that you have to worry too much.
I like the chapter, I like the characterization. Decribing Darius in a paragraph is fine, however I don't really like the description in the first line for Elodie. Yes, I know that it's not even much, just two adjectives...but you could always write: Elodie looked down at her setting. There, before her lay a napkin, a plate, and three forks. Elodie brushed raven colored hair from her face and then realeased an extremembly audible, sarcastic sigh. (end example) Then, later when Elodie is arguing with the teacher you could write: Elodie fixed her teacher with an icy blue stare which shocked most people.
Lastly, the end comes so quickly. This "realization" seems unrealistic. I would much rather see another chapter where Darius meets up with Elodie and explains this "realization" to her.
Nice writing though.
| Rachel M. T chapter 1 . 4/7/2006
I have already posted this story before, so if you've seen it, and didn't want to see it again! I'm sorry! All my stories were deleted by my sister, and I am currently uploading them all again! Sorry again!