Utterly Speechless!

Interesting. But here's a piece of editing advice: Read the story aloud to yourself.

Trust me, then you will get an idea of how I was feeling when I was reading your story. You would be surprised by how different it sounds when you can actually hear it. All those commas dotted randomly all over the place just slow your story down. It's meant to be fast-paced and climatic, but all the comma's did was take away from the action.

Hope that helped.