Reviews for How To Write A Fight Scene
Kyre Crow chapter 7 . 5/13/2011
Ooh. It's past my bedtime. Whatever. Firstly, you did a good job with the example of a the crazy battle, but you didn't include any feelings, which detaches the reader from the story no matter how quickly it flowed or how good the descriptions were. Anyway, this really really helped. Ooh, I am going to have SO MUCH fun with this. It was good of you to mention repetition in the first chapter, since you keep coming back to it. Also, thanks for not just telling us to write short and sweet, but to use flowery language to display the gore; everyone tells me to just write it, and they tell me to make it simple, but to be honest, I don't think simple descriptions would work too good here. What? your hair? I think most of the humor in this is in the dialogue/examples. Make it gross. All right. I'll try that... heh heh.
Kyre Crow chapter 6 . 5/13/2011
THANK YOU! I have this one scene in the story I'm working on where my two main characters get attacked by this massive herd of monsters, and spent a whole day trying to figure out how to get them away alive. This just gave me a ton of new inspiration, on top of the tons of advice that I badly needed. You did a very good job writing these examples, they really did fly by really quickly. This is something I'm going to have to keep coming back to for reference. However, one thing you said about dialogue and thought. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you could incorporate thought as long as you don't say 'he thought' or whatever. What I mean is, if you write his 'thoughts' along with his feelings... okay, that makes no sense when I write it out, but it does in my head... I'm not going to try anymore. Your right, the character does need some crazy good skills to get himself out of this one... or, of course, a savior. Right. Thanks.
Kyre Crow chapter 5 . 5/13/2011
...I don't know if there is a proper name for the "Blood Rush Theory." I might have to go look it up. Imagine that, typing "blood rush theory" into Google. I wonder what results I'll get... anyway. Did you mention in the beginning that if the character's in the battle and seeing what other people are doing, the writer has to make sure not to make it sound too much like the character is detached from it, unless he/she actually IS detached. Hey, have you read the Hunger Games, third book? The main character finds herself in the middles of a war, and is numb/detached for most of it; I think that's a really good example. But I agree with you, most people do notice what other people are doing at one point or another, even when they're fighting or whatever, so it only makes sense that the character does. Besides, that way, the writer can make it sound like there's more happening in the battle than just what the main character's doing. Also, I think you're adding a bit more humor to this. "And then (MC) had a beer." That was so random, or at least it seemed like it.

I thought you described what a blood-rush theory was really well, despite making the description really short. And the example, no matter how long, definitely helped. But I think you may want to explain how it works a bit more, because I had a bit of trouble following. Just a suggestion. Anyway, this review is probably half a mile long, not much by my standards but I've got another few chapters to read and review.
Kyre Crow chapter 4 . 5/13/2011
Me, again. I'm just going on a review marathon or something. Anyway... did you mention here that sound effects aren't limited to the ones you listed... yes you did, but only in passing. You might want to say it again, so you don't sound close-minded or something. Also, I noticed this is labelled 'humor.' Being honest, it's not exactly funny, but it does have a lot of personality in it, and that makes up for it. I like that you give lots of examples and explain them, and that you show us different ways to do it. The line about the '(uh, it's an arrow...)' seems pretty unprofessional, so you might want to change that. I really liked this chapter and look forward to the next one.
Kyre Crow chapter 3 . 5/13/2011
Oh gosh, I needed this. But then, whenever I put dialogue or thought into my writing, it turns out all choppy, so I'd better work on this. I take back what I said before; using (name), (good guy), (bad guy), etc., actually does work better than I previously thought. Sorry about that. Still, very good with grammar/punctuation/spelling; I congratulate you. Again, the examples help a lot. I really wish ficpress would let me log in, but whatever. I saw in your review relies that you jumped around a lot in previous chapters. Maybe I didn't notice it, but my brain moves like that, jumping around, so for me at least it's actually easier to concentrate on. Anyway, that was completely unrelated. I'm going to rant now if I don't end this review...
Kyre Crow chapter 2 . 5/13/2011
Me again, and still eager to learn as much as I can about writing fight scenes/action. I still fail, but I'm planning a story with a lot of fight scenes, so this is absolutely necessary for me. I think all the examples really help, because it would probably just be hard to understand without them. However, when you keep saying '(name),' it actually gets a bit confusing, so maybe use actual names. It doesn't take away too much, though, so it's fine to leave it as it is. I'm honestly just making suggestions in the ways I think will help improve it.

Free of grammatical/punctuational errors (which usually stick way out for me), so that's good. Yes, the examples definitely help.

This is going to be a whole lot of help when I actually get around to writing those scenes. Thanks.
Kyre Crow chapter 1 . 5/13/2011
Well, it won't let me sign in, so I'll just have to review this way. Action and fight scenes in particular, are to put it nicely, not my forte. I am terrible at them. This was definitely helpful since one of the big mistakes I've been making is repeating stuff. I think it was good that you devoted a whole chapter to telling us not to use repetition, since it is one of the big mistakes.

However, I noticed a few words that didn't have spaces between them, like "ofan attack's path" and "clenchedfist," but otherwise, it was pretty much error-free.

You did a good job of using simple words to get your point across, it seemed really simple but yeah, it was simple enough that I actually could understand it. Long, flourishing language I find really hard to concentrate on. Well, I'm off to read the next chapter.
Allison chapter 2 . 5/2/2011
Just re-read the chapter, that whole egg scene is hilarious!
Allison chapter 10 . 5/1/2011
This. Is. Bloody. Awesome. this is EXACTLY what i needed! YES! can you put down how to transition a plan from the good guys to save a hostage that's on the team? the hostage has been beaten pretty badly, fists, knives, kicks, energy drainer. now the team has to save the person...not quite sure how to execute the battle...it's a team of 5, 2 goons holding the hostage until they're going to be "teleported" through boom tubes. maybe this is too detailed...anyway, thanks SO much for the advice, this is bloody awesome!
Allison chapter 2 . 5/1/2011
This is awesome! thanks SO much, i really needed this advice!
Tanya Lee chapter 2 . 4/25/2011
This is a really useful information, thanks :)
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