Reviews for Origami Love
J-Kid chapter 2 . 6/19/2006
eh . . . second one is easier to read, but I quite liked some bits of the first one, like Graffiti and the way you did /i/n/s/e/r/t/i/n/g/. That was clever.

And I do like this poem. Of course, I like origami too, although I don't have the patience for it . . . hmm. . . but my sister can sit and fold thin square inch pieces of paper for hours. :-D
nofaceme chapter 1 . 5/3/2006
I always stay on the fence when it comes to formatting. I like it, but try not to overuse it. I do like much of the formatting in the first version of this poem. Especially the word "graffiti", mostly because the formatting looks like graffiti. I do like that using formatting in this one can change the angle of how you look at the poem and what is infered about it. including the (me) and (you) (lines 2 and 3). I liked the title a lot too. So keep it up!
toreshi chapter 2 . 5/1/2006
Personally, I thought V.1 was better. The way you formatted it gave it character. For some reason, i think it described better, the way you see this love. A very well written piece.
bahaghari chapter 2 . 4/20/2006
I'd like to correct myself, it's not called messing up (the unique formatting), it's artistry... why, we're only trying to be artistic, right?
bahaghari chapter 1 . 4/20/2006
I've been called 'silly' once because of my out-of-this-world formatting. Well, I mess up the usual formatting of poetries to emhasize emotions, since emos is my writing element.

In your poem, I saw animation-you brought life to those words, like the spaces in " g". It made me feel the emotion you were trying to convey there. Spaces could represent many, but type in a number of spaces, you see what? Nothing.
frayedlifeforce chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
i like the formatting - i think it adds something to this, loved this so much. i can't describe how i felt when i read this. great work, and sorry i didnt review earlier.
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 4/16/2006
I like the thoughts and your elaboration. As to formatting, if you have fun doing it, I'd say to do it. Those letters and symbols are part of keyboard. The decision is, what to draw attention to (or perhaps, how to draw attention to... Is grammar a hindrance or a structure for enhanced understanding)? I think a similar argument can be applied to the choice of rhyme vs. free form (another formatting and ornamental device; or, a structure to present ideas? I.e., sometimes repetition enhances, and at times it's just boring.)

In an era where everyone broadcasts and few listen, what gets people's attention? Ultimately, only 'you' can decide: is the audience my heart or my neighbor or my world. So, in summary, the palette is there, play with it. manuel.
EnigmaticArsenic chapter 1 . 4/16/2006
i actually like the formatted version. it is a bit distracting, but i think the distraction adds to the poem- if you catch my drift. it's a bit symbolic of the confusion of feelings, insecurity the poem conveys to me.
Nick83 chapter 1 . 4/15/2006
i like this formatting! Keep it please! and the poems really good too! nice one!thank you!
mezzie chapter 2 . 4/15/2006
I admit i like the less formatted version better, since the thoughts come through more clearly and the words speak rather than the variety of font appearance.

the imagery plays through well, and carries nicely to the end, through the efforts and desire and surprise tinged with almost fear.

mezzie
linedstained frameless chapter 1 . 4/15/2006
it's beautiful. It's like that confusion between being very deep or very easy to understand. I like the way you present possiblities at the end. It seems so dark and yet it gives that hint of peace..It's very very beautiful...Nice job...
lackluster chapter 1 . 4/14/2006
like origami poetry; the word art, if i can call it that, makes me smile: it seems sybolic.
coal and marigolds chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
I liked the imagery in this, though I found the f.o.r.m.a.t.t.i.n.g. distracting and felt that it didn't add much to the poem.

Still, it's an interesting idea for a poem.
sunshineofyourlife chapter 1 . 4/13/2006
oh wow. brilliant! i not only love they poem, but the way it was written adds so much! keep it up! i love your work!

-sunshine
diffident chapter 1 . 4/12/2006
Interesting metaphor. I like the metaphor, but some of the formatting took away more than it added to the poem (like "graffiti" and "inserting"), but I still really like this. I like the last stanza, and how you worded it. Vury nice indeed.

marie