Reviews for Gone With A BANG
treelady chapter 14 . 4/22/2007
Hey! I know I already reviewed as the sacred night, but that was a hastily done review immediately after I first read the chapter and cut short as I rushed off to work late. I thought I shortchanged you a bit ;). I like to let a piece of literature gel in my head a bit before I respond to it in earnest anyway.

The conversation between Bastien and Dominique at the beginning is really sweet. It's nice to see them interact because it's adorably obvious how close they are. It was really sweet to have Bastien smile and Dominique be so pleased by it, and Bastien so glad that Dominique is glad, and all the gladness. I wish there was more description of Bastien's emotions at that part, though, because it is such a big deal for him to smile about something. It would be nice if we saw more of his relief at finding out he wasn't conceived through rape, and his quiet joy at just being there in the calm of the morning with his dad without any of the B.S. they both have to deal with at other times. It would be a really powerful scene if we felt the coming on of the smile with our hearts before we saw it, and then even more so with how you already have Dom reacting and then Bastien smiling more because of how happy it makes Dom.

The switch between telling the story of Bastien's conception to the story of Dom and Paliff was so abrupt I completely missed it the first time I read it. I was just like... wait, this is a different story... and the second time I read it, I saw the sentence where Dom decides to go off topic because Bastien's more interested in him and Paliff, and it made more sense, but still, it's kind of abrupt. My suggestion would be instead of separating the flashback into its own scene, just make those two lines dialogue so you can have Bastien interrupt with his question and it's more clear that the conversation is taking a new direction. I, by the way, am extremely interested in the story of Bastien's conception, so I would love to see it get finished at some point if it works in the story.

I like how Bastien comes unhinged a little at the end. I can see that he's not used to dealing with emotions in any way besides pushing them to some disused box in the back of his head, and so having them actually present and experiencing them for what they are is doing strange things to him. The way he had so much trouble with something as simple as the coffee pot and then broke it when he did was an excellent way to portray that. Then when he acts a little erratically, and you might say even recklessly, with Harley, proves it even more. I thought it was a little weird how he said so easily "Something snapped last night" like he was so sure of the cause, though. This is still a really new thing for him, and his emotions are going crazy, and he hasn't really had much time to psychoanalyze himself yet. It would seem more real if he said he thought it was because of last night, or observed that it had been different ever since he changed, or something that just doesn't sound so sure. It comes off kind of flippant, like "oh, that... that's because of last night, pay no attention..." To say "Something snapped that night" when he's telling the story twenty years in the future would make sense, but at this early stage he seems too confused to say this.

I also thought it was hilarious that he described his other form as "more open" to Harley's advances. Sounds like the understatement of the year ;P and as I recall, it wasn't Harley making the advances _

BTW, I love the names in this story. It requires no explanation why I love Harley. I ADORED neverending story as a child, and I thought of it immediately when I saw Bastien's name, even though I think it's spelled a little differently. I like Dominique mostly because that's the girl spelling of it, which seems to fit somehow even though he's not overly girly.

Which makes me think of yet another thing! I love how you've made Dominique such an important character and made Bastien's relationship with him so central to the story. It's really easy for slash authors to get tunnel vision and focus just on the romance, and I'm glad you're making the stoyr so rich with other aspects of the characters' lives. Will we get details about Harley's life outside of Masque too?
cedroth chapter 14 . 4/22/2007
actually i really like this chapter - good job!
Midnights Scream chapter 14 . 4/22/2007
LOL.:) glad to have you back .I was starting to get scared that you wouldn't write anymore and it's not crap.:) I like it!
TopazEyes1992 chapter 14 . 4/21/2007
You totally have me so hooked to this story! I can't get it all out of my head now! You must totally update this story or I'll totally send my evil bunny from my profile to send man-eating goldfish after you to get you to type the rest of this story. I'm mean, it's like, so cool! I totally like- no, LOVE stories that have dragons. They're are so wicked cool. Please update for my sanity. I think this is so cool.
sporkess chapter 14 . 4/21/2007
It's not as bad as you make out. And I'm just pleased to see that the story still lives! Even if I'm struggling to remember what happened in previous chapters.

My one critique - we never heard Dominique's story! It got all interrupted. So hopefully you'll be writing more of it, so we hear it all?

Much love in any case.
the sacred night chapter 14 . 4/21/2007
I inspired you! *dances*

I don't think it's crap at all. I like it. I really thought elaborating on Dominique's relationship with Paliff and the story of Paliff's reaction to Bastien was a nice touch. At one point Dom refers to it as "the story of how he was conceived," but it's really the story of everything after that, ne?

Sometimes, though, I wish you wouldn't just spell things out for us like "I didn't have kids, nor would I. At least, if I could help it. Aside from not being attracted to women, my own distaste to pass along my mother's genetics made me rather reluctant. I couldn't have a child that was a quarter dragon. Well, not so much as have, I would love any child of mine as much as my father loved me, but I certainly didn't want to inflict such a stigma on some innocent child." You did this a couple of times in the chapter. We do need to know these things, definitely. It's awkward when you just explain it straight out like that, though. If you just had him say/think something that lets us know without having to say it directly, it's better. For one thing, it's more realistic, because people tend not to explain things so neatly and concisely in their own thoughts. More importantly, though, most of the fun in reading is figuring out these things through the gestures, the actions, the words a person says when they really mean something else, etc. and something seems a lot more real to us if we come to the conclusion based on those things instead of just being told. Like if you tell us, for example, like this, that Bastien doesn't want to have kids, we believe you, but it doesn't seem important to us and we don't really feel that much emotion about it. If, however, you had someone suggest something about his future involving kids and he shies away from it without telling them why, or possibly expressed thankfulness for being gay, then knowing his heritage as we do, we can figure out why pretty easily without you having to tell us, and we *care* a lot more because we *saw* it instead of just being *told* about it. I'm sorry if this is confusing, it's hard to explain.
Liviania chapter 14 . 4/21/2007
I like how you referenced her story at the beginning of this. And I love the ending! Mweh-heh, Bastien is awesome.

Livi
The Demonic Duo chapter 14 . 4/20/2007
Well now. I liked this very much. I imagine Dominique would find Harley with a dazed, goofy expression when he reenters the kitchen, eh? Does Autumn have any drawbacks to the change? Like, one moment he's calm but the next he could be near violent or highly sexual? A more apparent tension between his two personalities or something. You know, since later he'll be fighting and interacting with more people. Orion especially. O_O Could be fun. Also, what about the System? Are they going to be starting more problems with him? Is Harley going to flip out on them and start even more conflicts? Is there a threat of the team being forced into dividing? (You notice what I'm doing, right? Is your brain turning this stuff over and making you want to write more? I hope so. WRITE DAMNIT!) Loved it, darling, continue! .~
fivestar ice chapter 14 . 4/20/2007
I just read all 14 chapters tonight, and i can't believe the last chapter available to me was when things got really good. i hope there's mroe soon
Kittentits chapter 14 . 4/19/2007
Zomg you are alive.
Prisoner-11 chapter 14 . 4/19/2007
Forgive me for not logging in.

Anyways, wow. I compleatly forgot about this story until it popped up in my in-box. Goodness. It's still good, and your story is so memorable that I didn't need to go back and read the other chapters...so praise to you.
Cattails chapter 14 . 4/19/2007
Ha, so cute! Dominique is awesome :P And embarrassed Bastien amuses me. "If you don't mind me saying, I'd endure a hundred splinters just to snog your son again, sir." is now my favourite line XD Heehee! Oh, my, things are getting interesting! Ha! Can't wait for more!
Amindaya chapter 14 . 4/19/2007
I like it!
xanthofile chapter 14 . 4/19/2007
i grinned at seeing this in my inbox, and grinned as i read it, and grinned once i was through. half a year was worth it, i think. sorry i can't be more supportive than that at the moment.
Darkladyknight chapter 14 . 4/19/2007
Oh come on, I thought it was good. At least you're still working on it and not abandoning it. Anyways keep up the great work.
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