| Reviews for Mystic |
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   bid chapter 1 . 5/25/2007 no. i probably can't, but that's ok. oh, and the about your description of yourself.. there are no rules.. you haven't broken anything.. keep it up.. p.s. your stuff is too deep for me |
| Solemn Coyote chapter 1 . 6/19/2006 With a haiku, the author frames an image, evokes a theme, and then lets the reader interpret what he reads. Unfortunately, that makes it really hard to review a haiku properly. Most of what I say will be my interpretation of your words. Still, I'll give it a shot. 1) It's very hard to determine exactly what this poem is referring to. It's easy to draw conclusions, of course. It could be about a beach or a sandcastle, or a desert. However, you don't really give the reader a particular image to work with. Traditional haiku poets would probably frown on this, but I think it's appropriate for the theme of the poem.2) On a related note, there's very little to visually connect your three lines. They all evoke different images. This isn't really a bad thing, but it puts a little more interpretive strain on the reader.3) Honestly, that's about all there is for me to critique here. I like the poem, and there just isn't enough material here for me to really analyze. I will say this, though: have you ever tried writing tanka? Structurally, they're similar to the haiku. The syllable order goes 5,7,5,7,7. They're still short poems, but they give the writer a little more room to work with. For a poem like this one, I think the extra room would be helpful. |
| Viktrona chapter 1 . 4/29/2006 Simple, Sweet, and with words that say so much more. Thats all you need to a good poem and you did it perfectly |
| LavenderFox-Daisy chapter 1 . 4/21/2006 hmm tasteful and sweet |
| FunkyFlower chapter 1 . 4/17/2006 loved it:) beautiful imagery and al three lines r lovely, especially the last one 'only a child's hope'. ~mez~ |
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 4/16/2006 Wonderfully well crafted. Good haiku. |
| ygg chapter 1 . 4/16/2006 Wow the mystical aura makes me want to float away.. It creates just a wonderful picture! Reminds me of a Haiku I once wrote, called "Ancient Lore": Nameless grief, whispersSands hiding fluid orchidsLong forgotten dreams Keep on writing ;) |
| Aquafied chapter 1 . 4/15/2006 very mystic, actually children, childrenso naive. |
| ChasingPerfection chapter 1 . 4/15/2006 Um...maybe it's because I'm so tired, but...I don't get it?I like the image of "mystic sands singing" though! |
| SeaVoi chapter 1 . 4/15/2006 that is really wicked, it makes me feel so small. lol. I like it. |