Reviews for Chasing Princes
Islandbreeze chapter 17 . 1/17/2008
Yay, Owen's back. Now Talia has two annoying guys to watch over while they fight over her, but at least she likes one of them. I have a feeling Tobin and Owen together are going to be amusing, to say the least. The dragon, the frog twist, Talia's feeling of duty not to leave Tobin alone were good, worked into the plot. And seriously, Talia must be tasty. She'd better watch out, if they run out of food, that her companions don't get any smart ideas:) No, I'm sure they'd never dream of it. Unless she came with BBQ sauce, of course.
Islandbreeze chapter 16 . 1/17/2008
Talia must be glad to have someone she hates talking her brains out. Not. Tobin's remarks are really funny, like the cave one, about her aim, and his calling her love cements that quality in him that Talia finds rubs her the wrong way. She'll only accept one annoying guy in her life. And the dragon at the end was an excellent surprise. Punching Tobin and dragons, what is left for Talia now? She's gotten all the cool stuff. Except maybe for Owen...
Islandbreeze chapter 15 . 1/17/2008
Tobin is quite the character. Both men in Talia's life so far have been hard to handle. And no means yes. What a guy thing. But he does seem concerned and observant at least in that he noticed something was wrong. His little history lesson with the prince thing was well put in, and now Talia's quest is cemented. Hope Tobin doesn't turn out to be a baddun! Nice writing.
Islandbreeze chapter 14 . 1/17/2008
Oh, marshmellows:) Talia was determined in her escape plan, and only she would burn the tower down. And run into another guy who surely will get on her nerves and under her skin. Roasting the marshmellows. I would say this is my favorite chapter so far. Talia convinced he's a hallucination is real funny, and his reaction, priceless.
Islandbreeze chapter 13 . 1/16/2008
I'm glad nothing bad happened because of the apple...when I started reading and saw red apple I was thinking oh no, very much snow white-esque. Talia moping doesn't quite fit, and I like that she doesn't see the sense in meeting Owen just to lose him because that fits in with the pragmatic side of her personality. The ending of this chapter had a nice sense of creepiness- someone watching her every move- and now I've got to find out what happens next!
Islandbreeze chapter 12 . 1/16/2008
Good details in this chapter. Of course it wouldn't be a fairy tale prison if it wasn't a tower that just had to hold a damsel in distress:) And I loved the rock throwing comment. Talia doesn't have lack of courage when it comes down to it. Talia thinking of Owen was a good way to further their relationship and I think this was subtle enough and tasteful except when she just bluntly admits a the end that she loves him it seems a little out of the blue for her to use the word love and just accept it when her father left her to her stepmother and the family she's known died, and betrayed her. People have scars from things especially when they happen early in life, and it feels like there should be more depth to Talia's emotion in that respect. I mean, personally, I'm happy she loves Owen because he's adorable. But storywise, it feels a little too soon. Otherwise, this chapter was very nice.
Islandbreeze chapter 11 . 1/16/2008
Wow, Talia does appear to have the amount of bad luck. Finding her dad only to be captured and dragged off by bandits. They are a rag tag bunch, aren't they? They don't seem to be the brightest lot however, so there's at least a hope Talia will be able to make it back to Owen and her dad somehow. The descriptions of her trying to run at the end section were well done, and the ending of the chapter was really good. She's certainly in a fix. Very nice work here.
Islandbreeze chapter 10 . 1/16/2008
Oh wow, her father. Seeing old daddio might not be such a good thing right about then, since Talia never told Owen the truth about her circumstances when they set off together, and I'm sure her father will want to know what she's doing out there with a guy. Yikes-o! The part with the mirror, cart, wishes and the pretend betrothal was really funny since you portrayed Talia and Owen both acting soo uncomfortable with that little bit of play acting. And the sleazy guy was funny too...when he brought up the part about him not having any pillows so he should get instant gratification, I had a giggle spurt. Exciting chapter!
Islandbreeze chapter 9 . 1/16/2008
I really liked finding out about the mirror, how it works in the story, etc., and I agree with Talia...having an actual person in there is a little creepy. It feels like, your mirror is watching you. Big Brother Mirror...shudder. Owen and Talia still work really well together; their characters balance each other well, and it seems like they are getting more attached. Cedric made me laugh too...librarians need to chill out a little more with the whole no talking thing. Reading inspires emotion and discussions, like the hug thing made me laugh, which I'm sure would have been met with a frown and a shushing by the librarian. The story is moving along nicely.
Islandbreeze chapter 8 . 1/16/2008
Ugh, if I were Talia I definitely would have smacked Owen (lightly, of course:) over the Bumbler thing...how irritating. He does have a penchant for annoyance, but at least it's in a good hearted spirit, not malice, and he keeps a smile on his, and my, face. Old lady and mirror, kind of adding in different fairy tale components, which I think add a certain atmosphere to the story, and all works really well together. The only complaint I have about the chapter is that if Owen was lying, then why did Talia keep saying the food was so good if it was awful? Or did he only lie about the eating them part, but the food really was enchanted. Owen just enjoys his jokes, the bloke.
Islandbreeze chapter 7 . 1/16/2008
Wow, Talia and Owen manage to get into quite the situations, don't they? Their interactions are funny, and keep the pace and lightness of the story very well managed. You end in good places too, to keep the interest high for the next chapter even when their adventures aren't completely high drama or mortal peril type of things. And I adore Marv. I was kind of picturing him as the Travelocity garden gnome though, even though you described him. Nice chapter.
Islandbreeze chapter 6 . 1/16/2008
Back with mystery boy, is she then. Owen is a cute name. I do wonder if he is the prince, since he doesn't seem like a boy would act at all who was on the run and trained to be the ruler of the state, so if you're trying to throw the readers off the trail it's good. Talia does seem to be pretty self reliant, although walking alone on that road was pretty dumb for her in the time setting, when she could just be sold to a knight. Spunky and smart don't always just equal, so if she is supposed to be a big thinker, then more explanation of why dumber choices are her only options might help that part of her personality a little. She's very likeable though, so maybe it doesn't matter. That's just something that has annoyed me in books, so I brought it up. Going into the forest...wonder what the pair will encounter!
Islandbreeze chapter 4 . 1/16/2008
It seems so cruel that even a stepmother could sell off a child, especially when the family doesn't seem to be lacking even while the father is gone. The selling part was a surprise since normally the mom wants the girl around to do work, but it worked in a good way since now there's a lot of suspense wondering if Talia will actually need to go with Sir Mirlan or if she'll find a way around her bondage. And while he seemed nice enough in the last chapter, is his character really what it seems like? The places where the grammar was slightly awkward seems like it's improved from the first chapter. Nice job.
Islandbreeze chapter 3 . 1/16/2008
Sir Malin seems nice enough, rather crass. Talia's stepmom seems like the kind to have a nasty plan up her sleeve, especially after the scene at breakfast, so I'm worried about that. Talia is pretty likeable as the heroine, as long as you keep her spunky and not rude. Sometimes people seem to go overboard, but you've done a good job of it so far into the tale. And ending with whispers..makes you wonder. Hopefully nothing too bad will happen. But I have a feeling it will.
Islandbreeze chapter 2 . 1/16/2008
I like that Talia ran after her obnoxious step sisters and yelled at them rather than bursting into tears like in Disney; this does seem to have a lot of elements similar to Ella Enchanted, but if you work them all together in a different way then it could turn out to be fine. When you're editing, try to make sure that words are spelled out and that certain words, like "lie" and "lye" are differentiated. You could have done more to flesh out the stepsisters characters rather than just annoying and evilish if they are going to be a big part of the story. But if not, then I think you did a good job of showing more of Talia's character without getting bogged down in minor details. The whole dress situation also reminded the reader of Talia's attachment to her actual mother, and resent against the new situation. The dialogue was pretty good also.
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