Reviews for Gimpenguin
Arwen Starfire chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
wow, you got some powerful stuff here! very moving poem. I didn't see anything that needed editting, leave that up to you. your pattern is compelling. Good work.

Arwen Starfire
heroin zombie chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
I'm tired, so I'm gonna do it like this:

- Forced rhymes- Second half was better than first half- "Lick the litmus" felt like a forced alliteration, and stood out as such, although it was a good image- Felt sort of like shitty The Arcade Fire lyrics, which, while shitty, are still serviceably good lyrics I suppose- While I do complain about your rhymes and literary devices, the overall diction and ideas in the poem were good- However, just to add a little more meat, substance, or to just make it a little more interesting, either remedy the forcedness and/or put more into it. - The forcedness is your biggest problem, though.

fin
Smoky Bear chapter 1 . 4/17/2006
"The scorn you were born with may burn blue" - excellent line. this poem is really cool... it touches on all kinds of truths of society and growing up. elusive and quirky, great title too.