Reviews for The Playground Campaign: 1: Experi
crimsonstain08 chapter 17 . 6/2/2008
A very interesting story. I love how much devotion you put into each and every one of your characters. They all truly stand out. You should find someone to publish this-it is amazing!

Great job, keep up the good work, and update soon!
TheDeuce chapter 17 . 8/17/2007
This rocks!
Arick Payth chapter 8 . 1/26/2007
Cliffhanger! Although I do think it unfair that Yasir got to join, it was his fault he got detention, that stupid traitor.
Arick Payth chapter 6 . 1/26/2007
No, James don't believe that 'pompous a-word'! No!

Great story, elaborate plot, just a few grammar mistakes and stuff.
Arick Payth chapter 5 . 1/26/2007
What an asshole that Lue is, telling kids that they can't play! Yasir too! He's one of the leaders, he has a say in all of that!

Oh, well, great story still, sort of remind sme of 'Animal Farm'.
Arick Payth chapter 4 . 1/26/2007
Great story, lots of grade school politic stuff.

Something about Lue doesn't make me like him.
Bob Evans chapter 17 . 1/18/2007
The suspence is really building up. So many questions, so much suspicous activity, and mysterious behavior on all sides. I love this kind of tension! I can already tell that something big is going to take place at the camp-out, so I really hope you get the next chapter out soon!

It is quite a curious oddity concerning some of their behavior, so I'm wondering which of them are planning good or planning follies. It's almost impossible to tell who is loyal to who anymore (which is good in this case), and there are subtle hints alluding to something going on in the shadows. Keep writing!

~Bob Evans
Heatless Flame chapter 16 . 1/7/2007
Hmm, I liked the handball match. So now that Alier is beginning to join with Jurist, what happened if they somehow defeated Tricari. Interesting. The politics of Tricari are interesting, not to mention how similar Alier is to the U.S. under the Articles of Confederation. Personally, I would rather be allied with Experi, but that's my opinion. Good job!
Bob Evans chapter 16 . 1/5/2007
Excellent work! Frank is quite the character; trying so hard to be important, and yet being humorous in the proccess. As for the other events taking place...I think something's up. Can't quite put my finger on it, but then again you do have a way for surprises, so I can't wait to discover what it is.

Keep up the good work!

~Bob Evans
Firefox chapter 10 . 1/4/2007
Is Alier based on the Triple Alliance and the Triple Entente from World War One? And is this going to break out into some kind of "Kid War One"? And I don't mean to sound offensive there, because I think this is really cool.
Bob Evans chapter 15 . 1/4/2007
Supremely brilliant.

I can certainly say that this story is one of the best I've read on Fiction Press. The detail and work you've put into this is amazing, and I will be looking forward to updates on this.

Keep up the good work!

~Bob Evans
Bob Evans chapter 4 . 1/3/2007
Well well well! You've really taken this somewhere! Your blend of writing and story plot has put together an excellent read! The power struggles feel real, and the concept is coming together. I can't wait to read more!

~Bob Evans

P.S. You said the surprises were anticlimactic? Who said the surprises were over...?
Bob Evans chapter 2 . 1/2/2007
This is impressive! I've had somewhat of an idea like this for ages now, but it took place up in the High School relam instead of down in the Grade School era. This is a genius idea, and I will be looking in to reading the next few chapters. Good work, and keep writing!

~Bob Evans

P.S. Thank you very much for your review to "Extinction". It's been one of those stories I've had trouble getting a plot originized with, and it's always good to hear someone who enjoyed it.
Firefox chapter 5 . 1/1/2007
Patrick Henry is based on the original Patrick Henry from the Revolutionary Way, right? Yasir seems nice, but quailed into doing the wrong thing here... And my suspicions about Lue are growing darker and darker.

With courts on both sides of the playground, Tricari could probably trap any rebellions and squash it. Is that why Lue planned it like that?
Firefox chapter 4 . 1/1/2007
I don't think I really like Lue... He seems to want to collapse the playground government. He seems like an imposter in the middle of the kids... A spy.

But then, that's just my thoughts. I really like this.
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