|Reviews for Two poems about faith|
| CostumeForAGutterball chapter 2 . 8/16/2006
Quite an interesting perspective! I enjoyed these!
| Gilee7 chapter 2 . 5/20/2006
[and his voice - too smooth like guitars,] When I read that line, I had the radio behind me on some classic rock station, and I swear whatever song was playing at the time, there had been a guitar solo going on for at LEAST five minutes or more. (Not that I'm complaining; guitar solos are solely missing from today's rock music ... or maybe it's just because all the new guitarists suck). Anyways, I found that situation kind of ironic.
[when everything around me blurs / and his voice - too smooth like guitars, / and I giggle to relieve the stress of] I had a problem with these lines as a whole. It reads as if there's a line missing after the guitar analogy. I was expecting something about the guy's voice and whatever it does to "I." Instead, it's just like an incomplete sentence, if you can even have one of those in a poem.
[and I giggle to relieve the stress of / all these silences that make no sense to / me.] Nice lines. Reminds me of the conversation in Pulp Fiction where Mia (the beautiful Uma Thurman, who I'd SO love to "ring my bells" to) talks to Vincent (John Travolta) about why exactly we're so compelled to talk about meaningless bullshit just to avoid an awkward silence. But I'm the same way, even though I'm a pretty quiet person. If I'm TRYING to carry on a convo with someone, and there's silence, I'll just laugh or hum or make some kind of noise until I can think of something worthwhile to say or ask.
[Bent beside someone broken, asleep / in a bed that grew around ivy until / everything else withered away into bibles, / and sermons, and summaries, and you!] Great lines. I especially like the inclusion of "you" at the end of the list. Some people might be offended that such a person as this would be considered "broken." But eh, anything even vaguely religious causes a world of controversy. All I've heard about this week is that freakin' Da Vinci Code movie and whether it's fact or fiction and how "offensive" it is and blah blah blah blah blah.
[And things truthfully untrue] Ha, I love that!
[And things truthfully untrue like a sickness / spreading on the wind] Cool analogy.
[air and smoke / (the joke) of trying to live between the two.] Great lines, perfect ending. I like the metaphorical (or should I symbolic) use of "air and smoke." It could be disected and interpreted in so many ways, even all the way down to just simply "white and black," though I like the more religious meaning behind it here. I also like how you acknowledge that such a situation would be a "joke," while also providing us with a very cool rhyme!
I really, really enjoyed this poem. Though the first one was good, this poem blows it away. Perhaps it's because the first poem was very cryptic and I really had no idea what the hell it was about. This poem, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. Though not blatantly obvious (I think it could be interpreted in many different ways), readers will walk away from this poem THINKING. With the first poem, the readers are just simply confused. Here, they walk away with a message, a meaning.
And the imagery and rhythm also provided for a much stronger poem.
Write on, Juliet.
| Gilee7 chapter 1 . 5/20/2006
[His bells] I giggled like a schoolgirl when I read that. For some reason I automatically thought of a guy's umm ... Australian (as in "Down Under") pair. "His bells" just seems so metaphorical of that certain anatomy; or maybe it's just because I recently heard them referred to by that same term.
[high up in these hills] I saw more sexual imagery here. Maybe I'm just a pervert and I think of sex all the time. (I still remember that (o)(o) thing that was in your poem before and I was like "oh! boobies!") Though a lot of your poetry tends to be rather sexual, even if it isn't ABOUT sex, I really, really, really don't think this one is. But of course you can guess what "hills" made me see (refer to the previous statement in parenthesis). "His bells ring out ... high up in these hills" reminds me of a technique one of my girl friend's (notice the space, meaning actual female friend, not "girl I'm dating") used to do; that technique ... well, it'd involve her "hills," which were quite a nice size, and a guy's umm ... "little guy." There would be an insertion and then a motion and ... well, his "bells" would "ring out." Which seems rather nasty, acually. Hopefully they had a box of kleenexes nearby.
[man in black] Johnny Cash!
[who dreamt of icebergs when / he was a boy] I have absolutely no idea the meaning behind this.
[God is only one, / he says to me; only one part of you!] Interesting. I think the line might have more punch, more power, if you just used a period and then capitalized "only" rather than using a semi-colon (which I've recently been accused of way overusing, and rightly so, I believe).
Interesting, SHORT poem, Juliet. I think I'm with everybody else as to whether or not I "get" it, but that doesn't really matter. Poetry doesn't have to be "gotten" to be enjoyed and appreciated.
And yay, there's a chapter 2 to this!
| Chandra-Moon chapter 2 . 5/14/2006
Smothering by religion-it's sad, isn't it? Especially when a person doesn't realize it's being shoved down their throats.
"And things truthfully untrue" I wasn't sure what you meant, but it made me think of science, and all the things it comes up with that church denies as false.
And "air and smoke"...does that mean heaven and hell, living on earth? I could be making that up, but that's quite a nice image, and a very nice rhythm you have going on, too.
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
I also agree with the reviewer below me. I don't really understand this, but I don't think I need to. I love "God is only one, only one part of you." I love the whole imagery and feeling of this.
| die kleine maus chapter 1 . 5/12/2006
there's something about the way you write that simply draws everyone on fictionpress to your poetry, isn't there? i found myself in very much the same situation as TinuvielDork, who said she loved your work but didn't always feel she understood it. but i think one doesn't always have to, because the sound and flow of your words are sometimes good enough. i like the last line of this, God being only a part of you when you're expecting more of a sermon, on god being the one and only. it makes it so human, almost as if you as a person have so much to you, so much of your own, that God is not the only thing divine about it?
| Oh fuck this chapter 1 . 5/10/2006
Short and sweet. Bravo, I love this. You get your point across clearly and beautifully. Especially liked the bit about icebergs.
-Mohammed and Eliza
| God's LiL Helper chapter 2 . 5/7/2006
Sad that ya would laugh at the Bible. I feel also you are laughing as us Christians. Hun ya won't be laughing in the end when you leave this world. I hope you see the light of Christ before you wither away.
| Anya Mannequin chapter 1 . 5/6/2006
i love this.i think i know your work from when i had my old account. but i could very well be wrong.i love this.
| catseyeview chapter 1 . 5/4/2006
| Bonfire Of The Sanities chapter 1 . 5/4/2006
"God is only one part of you"...wow...that's deep...verrynice
| Tyndall Blue chapter 1 . 5/3/2006
for some reason i think inserting a "the" in front of man would ease it along better
loved the summary, loved the poem
| C. Patrick Ostiguy chapter 1 . 5/2/2006
I don't get the icebergs.
And I meant the Roman Empire. Judaea was a province of Rome.
| Chemically Induced chapter 2 . 5/1/2006
ah i love it! the imagery in vivid and at the same time blurry to me, like i cant tell exactly what is going on. but i get some sort of message, about faith and hypocracy(sp?). "and things truthfully untrue like a sickness/ spreading on the wind." is it ever like a sickness. excellent, faithless juliet.
| Ellerfru chapter 2 . 4/30/2006
These poems are very interesting... I'm still trying to fully unterstand them. The last line of the second poem is very well chosen, it captures the rather bitter atmosphere. Never stop writing!