Reviews for The Mansion
Lord Darling chapter 1 . 5/28/2011
I daresay this means something very deep and haunting and profound, but I'm not grasping it, quite.
One-Hand Clap chapter 13 . 4/20/2008
"The clock ticks in shivering motions"

The imagery this evokes - like the clock sends a tremor through the very fabric of their Mansion world - intriugues me.

And the dialogue at the end is superb in its simplicity. Well done!

- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon [link in my profile]
One-Hand Clap chapter 10 . 4/20/2008
"Amour, amour they whore themselves."

I loved this line for the cute little rhyming it did! I've noticed you do this a lot, and it's really clever. I like this technique.

"Amour, amour, we adore you, we abhor you."

Another superb rhyming line!

I also loved, as always, the imagery in this, escpecially of the yellowing bones. It was gorgeous, and I could picture it!
One-Hand Clap chapter 8 . 4/20/2008
"I was cross-legged in a church when he first saw me"

It was an interesting start to the poem and caught my attention. Again: imagery. Again, I saw it in my mind, and I really appreciate that about this story.

However, I did not understand this line and didn't really like it: "and his kisses grow up across my legs like weeds" I didn't like it because I didn't understand it, but maybe that's my problem, and not your's.
One-Hand Clap chapter 7 . 4/20/2008
I love the question posed in this poem, it's just so... ... Ugh! I'm running out of words to describe how it makes me feel! It's just amazing. I can feel that same ache.

"Why is it lover and drug,

drug and god, god and lover, but never just lover and lover?"

However, I have to admit that candlelight is becoming a bit of a reoccuring image in this, and it's beginning to kind of seem a bit - GASP - cliche. But then, what do I know?
One-Hand Clap chapter 6 . 4/20/2008
"Our foster father

above us in the screaming terror of crucifixion"

That is an insanely poetic line. The imagery in it is like a fist in the gut (in a... good way). I can actually imagine it - I keep on repeating that, but that's only because sometimes when I'm reading poems on FP, I have trouble imagining the scenarios in my head, but here it's effortless!

I also like your phrasing in this poem, because it's mighty powerful... Like this line, to give you an example: "Were is the beauty of it? The barren corners of idolatry"

Just... Wow.
One-Hand Clap chapter 5 . 4/20/2008
'the lilies

that grow from the floorboards, to pick and place

at her face - to kneel beneath the candlelight'

It's so... pretty! My mouth went slack when I read it! What lovely imagery! It's just gorgeous, truly. I hope to one day be able to write like this...

I'm really liking how these poems veer between the sticky, repressed issue of Feminine Sexuality and deep Catholic (I'm assuming it's Catholic!) faith. It's interesting how you reconcile the two, only to seperate them again.
One-Hand Clap chapter 4 . 4/20/2008
I liked the image of Jesus 'hanging' over the phonecord - it really grabbed my attention, maybe because it's not something you usually see mentioned in the same breath. Jesus and phonecords. So that really stuck with me. It was a very interesting image to have in my mind.

Just a little formatting thing, I think this poem would look better if the lines were like:




rather than:




I don't know, it's just a little quirk I have, but I think it'd look better the way I said. Not that I know much about anything!
One-Hand Clap chapter 3 . 4/20/2008
'I am virgin and then I am bride.'

I am in love with the feel of this line. It just kind of... resonates in it's stark and blunt finality. It's a really nice message. I loved it.

The last stanza is filled with some pretty intense imagery, escpecially the last two lines. Wow. I can imagine it in my head, but I don't know if I want to.
One-Hand Clap chapter 2 . 4/20/2008
This is such a lovely recounting of innocence lost. Knowledge gained. It's beautiful, and I love it for the way the protagonist narrates it, somehow clinical yet whimsical.

I also loved the imagery evoked by:

So deep do your shadows crawl across the ground -

is this midnight or morning?

It was just so... I don't have a word for it. I felt it in the middle of my chest, somewhere near my heart. It was like a... um... pang, I guess. It was really good.
One-Hand Clap chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
The imagery in this is nothing short of heart-stopping. Seriously! It is beautiful, I can practically feel myself expiricing it.

Another thing I loved was the character development, especially with the protagonist, because you have made me intruiged to where this will carry onto. Well done!
MallowsWins chapter 25 . 8/28/2006
I actually read this a long time ago at work and didn't have time to review it. Then I took a long break from reading it again. I got lazy I suppose, so now I'm back to resume what I started long ago: reading and reviewing each chapter of this mansion.

I love your setting. For me, July is winter with a few warm days thrown in to taunt me. There are no fireworks, no real heat and it typically boring but your July (being an American July) is full of events. The setting reminded me of Miami for some reason, but thats besides the point.

The emotion in the poem was far stronger than the setting. It seemed to be written in a rushed kinda way, almost in a fever (again, heat? or am I stretching there?) The rape and the car crash mentioned (though as stated the crash is yet to happen) both add an incredibal amount of tragedy. 'Ally is crying in your arms' is another one of your iconic lines that seems to stem from an unimaginable truth. The way you so often do that in this series haunts me. Late at night when I can't sleep I sometimes think of images I get from your writing. This chapter will add to that archive.

Lastly, the format. Not much to say, but I like it. Its interesting without being too original, and its easy to read. The ending seemed too sad.

Great chapter, Juliet. Once again, sorry for taking so long to review this. I suppose this is the upside to having the flu and not being at work.

Peace, Daze
hanfiddle chapter 1 . 7/28/2006
Compliments as ever,

Gilee7 chapter 28 . 7/27/2006
Woohoo! There's actually punctuation in this piece! And every comma and period is exactly where it should be. Where the punctuation is usually lacking and lessens your poetry, the punctuation in this poem totally enhances the poem. Great job!

I believe this is when the Mansion is at its best: when it's wearing a skimpy outfit while taking on religion, meaning that the poem keeps its sexuality while still talking about a serious subject matter.

The beginning of the poem is brilliant. The whole first stranza is five-star. Every stanza is powerful, though.

[lusty men are like bible salesmen] One of my favorite lines.

Great job with this poem, Juliet! I look forward to more visits to the mansion.
Gilee7 chapter 27 . 7/27/2006
This is another poem that suffers from bad grammar. But I'm not going to let that ruin the poem for me. I'll just place the commas and pauses where they should be as I read along. If I do that then I realize just how good this poem really is.

[I want to suck your jaw line] Wow. That's um . . . strikingly sexual.

[like a balloon / ready to pop / her top / off] Love these lines.

[just on the cusp of not giving a shit] LOL. I love this line. It makes me smirk everytime.

[just between the two of us / I don’t care about love anymore / I just want to fall asleep with someone next to me.] Wow, strong ending.

Like I said in the beginning, once I look past the grammar issues, this poem is actually very good. Nice sexual imagery. I could totally visualize this guy and girl up against one another. The whole poem has a very sardonic tone, which I love.

Nice job.
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