Reviews for Why Not We May
dail-of-the-air chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
Hm .. the rhymes do add a nice touch to the message of the poem, but the meter is all off. Perhaps if you messed around with syntax and word choice a bit, then it might sound better?

Overall, I like how it seems incoherent at first, and then starts to come together, but the idea is still left mostly unrealized. Great job!
FixitfelixJRJRJR chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
Else and but need a space between them. The title and last line felt odd, and sort of disrupted the flow because the uncommon usage of the wording. I liked it though- Good job.

Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 9/28/2007
Nice poem.

Good luck with poetry and life.

Have a wonderful day. :)

~Twilight Starr~
the Stranger in the moonlight chapter 1 . 8/2/2006
This was really good. Nice flow though the last line sort of confused me. Though at the same time it makes sense. I liked this flow.

Nice job, keep writing and thanks for the review of Small Comfort, Real Comfort .

~the Stranger in the moonlight~
Viktrona chapter 1 . 6/30/2006
i like it alot but i think you could have cut two of the sentences in halfJa Na Ruby
The Minister's Daughter chapter 1 . 6/6/2006
You have such a hopeful spirit in your writing; I can see your youth but also a sense of knowledge. If only everything could be as simple as all of that.
Jumanji chapter 1 . 5/17/2006
When it says we do we say bye dont u mean why do we say bye
Silent Deception chapter 1 . 4/26/2006
nice i like a lot. keep up the good work.
Adaku chapter 1 . 4/26/2006
I wish I ca write poetry -_-, anyway, thanks for reviewing TLS. _ And, it does kind of sound pf Avatar doesn't? Well, keep up the good work, and the only reason why I'd reviewed this is because you reviewed on a "I'll Return the favor" story. hehe, that actually happen to me before-like two weeks ago. Wait, I'm getting off task on this review, and it's not even about the poem. Till next time

Cat Townsend chapter 1 . 4/26/2006
This is very good... rather depressing, but very good. The flow is great, and there's enough emotion behind the words to make me think you've lost someone important recently... I'm probably reading rather too deep into it, though. I do that it up, this is a good poem...The only thing is I would categorize this under life, or love, rather than general. It could be taken either way.
When words lose meaning chapter 1 . 4/26/2006
You definently rhymed a lot, but it was great. I loved it.

-When Words Lose Meaning-