|Reviews for Storm|
| Inherent chapter 1 . 8/24/2006
Oh my. This story was one of the most amazing things I've ever read. I can't begin to tell you how much I loved it because I don't know where to start. All I can say is it's different from anything else I've ever read. The characters were so realistic and different from other stories I've read attempting what you actually wrote. I'm sort of sad I read this at night because I'm going to be thinking about it for a while but I am very happy I read it.
| Violent Night chapter 1 . 8/12/2006
Wow. Brilliant. I cried. I'm an incoherent babbling wreck and I don't know what to say but wow.
This story is amazing. It makes sense. I never thought of it this way before. This review is horrid.
That ending was so sad. I'm all choked up now. But this is just wow. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.
| plchldr chapter 1 . 8/9/2006
Umm. First of all I'd just like to bow down and worship you for this amazing piece of art. I honestly just clicked on the link 'cause I was bored and it looked interesting...and next thing I know, I'm getting sucked into this amazing, amazing story.
Second of all, (and I really, really, REALLY hope nothing I say from this point on offends you, because that's not what I was going for at all) I'm so...impressed, I guess is the word, with how open-minded this came out. I don't mean to generalize at ALL, but it's human nature to judge, and I for one have never seen a m/m story based off religion that wasn't even slightly biased in either direction. I mean, reading Chris's views on God, I never would have guessed that the writer was religious themselves, because it just came out so truthful. Personally, I don't think I could ever write a character with views I don't agree with so unbiasedly, but you did, and it's a talent to be proud of.
The other thing about this story that really got to me was how much I found myself relating with Davis. I'm an athiest myself, although I was raised Jewish and still have close ties with that faith, and I agree with Christian in terms of his views, but Davis is such a...human character, if that makes any sence, not at all a blindly ranting, fanatical steryotype. He really made me think...the fact that he honestly loves his faith even as it tells him that what he is, is wrong, is just...I can't say I can understand it, but it certainly opened my eyes to the fact that not everyone who belives homosexuality is wrong is a bad person. (I have to admit to being close-minded there, but now it hits me how hypocritical I'm being to judge if I hate when people judge others.)
And yeah, I've noticed what you mentioned in your author's notes about Christianity and slash fiction, and it's just irritating, because it's like saying EVERYONE of that religion feels exactly the same way. I have plenty of Christian friends who are pro-gay marrage and all that stuff, while my Jewish parents are staunchly against, so it just goes to show you how far assuming and juging based on religion gets you.
Lastly, even though I said it before, I'm blown away by this story. Sorry for the ten-page review here, and my deepest condolences on the loss of your friend.
Now to make room for this on my fav's list...
| asdf chapter 1 . 7/24/2006
great story. i enjoyed it. made me drop two tears. your way with language is excellent and i liked all the descritpions.
| bandgeek789 chapter 1 . 7/20/2006
Wow. That was easily the best thing I've ever read on this website, and I spend at least 2 hours a day on here :P. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It was refreshing to not have the cliché happy ending, but at the same time I want to bawl like a baby. And I did a few times. Amazing. It really made me think. I think it's sad how Davis wouldn't admit his feelings but at the same time that's so hypocritical for me to preach acceptance for gays because its denouncing their beliefs. I'm a big walking contradiction who is still overly emotional and not thinking clearly. I really can't think of anything to improve the story. It's perfect just like it is.
I am so sorry about your friend. *hugs*
| PARTY MONSTER chapter 1 . 6/20/2006
After sitting here and reading this for however long it took with a migrane the entire time, shifting in my seat and gripping at my hair, I thought I would look like wimp if I didn't give you a review while shifting in my seat and grabbing at my hair from migranes.
For whatever reason (obviously because it caught my interest) I decided to read it all without running upstairs for Tylenol...though I still resent that I'll do that. Alia said I should read it, and I'm glad she did. It's very...I don't know. Hard to put in words.
Yeah, there was a lot of dialogue (20 pages? That's the length of some odd 'stories' of mine) in this story, but I don't see there being any way to write this other than dialogue. The two were very personal, and it took both of them a long time to open up, but that's natural. Chris didn't take so long to open up, of course...tends to happen when you're carrying something like that around.
But anyway, overall, it was excellent. You said there was a lack of description in here, but when you did use description, it was really precise and the words just...fit together perfectly.
I'm not too sure what else to say...I thought the idea of the story was really interesting, especially coming from a Christian. I don't know, but it seems like a big step that a lot of people wouldn't take. I'm proud of you for it.
| magalina chapter 1 . 5/30/2006
What are you talking about? Sorry, but I loved that! It was depresing as hell but, wow! I gonna read all your work now!
Damn my English...
| heart race chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
amazing. i loved the characters and the music that influenced you is great. very believable. gorgeous. i loved the kiss. anyway, xx.
| Zeva chapter 1 . 5/29/2006
Okay, first of all, I'm going to go slightly fan-girl on you and say that I really loved this story, and for many different reasons.
It's very, very realistic, which was awesome. I love that you told it from a first person point of view, and you still managed to have Davis' thoughts and feelings about the whole issue in there without making it sound forced, like there was no other way to get it in there.
This was a difficult story for me to read, simply because first I was really relating to Christian and how upset he is that a religion is so against who he is. (I'm bi, and my mom and sisters are all very religious, so it's been hard to deal with the thought that they think I'm going to hell). But then, when you put in Davis' little rant (I don't realy know what else to call it, but I mean no offense), I found myself really thinking about faith and others' beliefs. And while I don't agree with those beliefs myself, I found myself respecting them just a little more. (Again, I mean no offense to you when I say this; it's supposed to be a bit of a compliment - you made me think).
I also read your author's note at the end, and I admit that at first I wished Davis had accepted his feelings (I'm kind of a sucker for happy endings, though I don't write too many myself; go figure x.x), I really like the way this turned out. The fact that Davis didn't accept his feelings was a nice twist from the usual things on fictionpress, and much more realistic than the cliched happy endings. And I agree with what you said about Christians always being portrayed as "self-righteous, bitchy, unfeeling, and hypocritical" because while there are many Christians out there who are like that, there's also a lot who aren't.
Well, now that I'm done telling you exactly what I like, I should probably tell you what I think you could do to fix it. Well, not fix it exactly, because it isn't broken, but...I think you know what I mean. The whole constructive criticism thing. And honestly, I don't think there's anything that can be done to make this 'better'. From my point of view, it's brilliant the way it is. It made me think a lot about my own life and it helped me look at things from a different point of view. Not only the story, but the author's note at the end. I hope other people read it and respect it as much as I do.
Again, this is a brilliant piece of writing.
| emerald raven chapter 1 . 5/26/2006
*falls in love with and marries story*
i can't believe anyone could not like this - i totally adored it
you really captured something that felt a lot more real than some of the stories on here. seriously it was deep and you really caught the moment brilliantly... I do believe it is now me in awe of you :P
'ravenx x x
| Collar de Espinas chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
Well, you already know how much I liked this 'cause I'm your Messenger stalker...but I figured it wouldn't hurt to tell all of the Fictionpress world how much I love it. Plus, then I can add it to my Favourites list too. *nods*
You wrote this beautifully m'love and don't you even DARE think otherwise! You have a gift for giving your characters the ability to speak and act like real people, which made this all the more heartbreaking to read.
I loved Davis' confession as you made him so...true to life. His conviction regarding his faith, despite his own personal preferences.
And I told you al about my favourite lines, so I won't bore you with it again. ;)
All I need to say now is that if I *ever* hear you so much as, err, *think* about undermining you're own writing again, you're going to be hearing from me and I will not be a happy bunny...
Anyway, smooches and keep up the fantabulous work m'dear! Alia loves you!
| Esquirella chapter 1 . 5/23/2006
This was an awesome and honest portrayal of real life people, Dana! Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. It was moving and deep in so many ways. I especially love the notes at the end. I think you're absolutely right about the way Christians are usually protrayed in mXm stories (including my own. I know I'm not innocent of that.) But you brought a real and honest voice to this piece that leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
Great, great line:
"Davis isn't some gay martyr off an Internet romance where Jesus Boy groans under spiteful, pietistic parents and has his hypocritical religion slipping through his fingers."
So telling, too, of the narrator's feelings. Wonderful work! You're friend Justin would likely have been proud.
| yeahyeahyeah chapter 1 . 5/4/2006
umm yeah, that was SO wrong! don't you dare talk about Christianity being a bad thing when homosexuality is in itself a horrible sin. Oh, and stop using the f-word so much. It's unattractive.
| sarah chapter 1 . 5/1/2006
wow, I really liked this, especially the dialogue, I thought it seemed pretty realistic. and hey, long conversations in the rain- when you have to talk, you have to talk I geuss. and I loved both Davis and Chris. and I liked how it wasn't all easy answers, because I think that was more realistic-it wouldn't be an easy answer.
I also liked this because it seemed like a fairer representation of christianity than you usually find in slash (y'know, the christianhomophobic narrow minded asshole). Because while I admit that's sometimes true in some people on some issues, as soemone who is religious at least on some level, it always irked me. I liked how Davis didn't seem stupid for following his religion, it almost seemed like something to be admired, (if not for the belief then for the conviction) whichever choice you were rooting for.
| luckyclover chapter 1 . 4/29/2006
I think, that this is the first thing I've ever read on fictionpress... that made me cry. I love this story, I love Christian, and I love Davis... This was a wonderful story... you have real talent, this is a very good piece of writing.