|Reviews for The Thirteenth Skull|
| fortunesfading chapter 39 . 4/14/2007
I really like your story. It's got an interesting plot, and interesting twists to it too. There's a few spelling errors everyonce in a while, more so towards the beginning of the story, but they're managable. I'll definatly be recommending it to others to read. Can't wait for your next update!
| FreakierThanThou chapter 38 . 3/23/2007
What? But she shot the old guy! Wow. Confused. Surprised. Still love this story.
Great job. Love it, love it, love it. It's hilarious how much more the Specters curse than the original crew, did you do that on purpose?
I loved how Deva fought at the end, but one thing that confused me was: did the pirates shoot the entire crew? How did they do it so fast? If they didn't, why didn't someone help her?
Other than that, great job. Really as amazing as always.
| FreakierThanThou chapter 37 . 3/22/2007
Okay, this is completely brilliant. Amazing. I planned on reading the first chapter and taking weeks or months to finish it, if I liked it enough. It took me two hours. That's how hooked I am. Next chapter, please?
This was great. I love Deva, Matt, and Liam. Damien's pretty cool and I feel sorry for Kaden. As a character, I like Aiden, I think you did a good job with him. Basically all your characters are brilliant.
There were a few typos, but nothing serious.
There was even humor! Amazing! "There is one with great evil among you." "Oh, him." Or, "he will have in his possession a way to eradicate entire species that do not stand with his rule." "That sucks." Most writers can't do humor, drama, and characters all so... amazingly. Great job.
In conclusion, I LOVE this story and REALLY really want the next chapter up REALLY soon!
Oh, and the Specters were cool.
| The Mumbling Sage chapter 2 . 2/19/2007
I don't know how your reader base is, but if it isn't as large as you'd like it to be that may be because you update faster than many people can read. With 36 chapters up and a new one every few days or less, it can be hard for a new or busy reader to catch up.
I think how Aiden's thoughts are all over the place here. I also like how your chapters are at least short, so they can be read in one sitting without a demoralizing feeling.
One tip for dialouge:
"You know, you've hit a new level of low Aiden." She growls at me.
"You know, you've hit a new level of low, Aiden," she growls at me.
I added a comma between low and Aiden because it just seemed right to me, but the part that should really be watched is the 'comma(,) quotation (") lowersace s in she or lowercase h in he' rule. I always had problems with that dialouge convention as well.
Stories written from the first person of many different characters are always sort of new to me. The pacing is fast, which can be good and can confuse people. Your plot summary looks good, so I'd like to see the rest of the story.
However, for some reason, I haven't been able to summon a lot of emotion for the characters. This could be my fault, although it does seem that there is a bit of telling instead of showing (part of that first-person viewpoint, I guess).
| Julia chapter 30 . 12/13/2006
Hello. I love your story. The plot, the characters, the setting - everything looks great.
| The Mumbling Sage chapter 1 . 11/16/2006
I really loved the beginning here! It's pity this story isn't more wide-read. I'll add it to favorites and try to add reviews on the rest of the chapters later.
| Blades-phalanx chapter 5 . 11/8/2006
Hey this is a pretty good story. Looks like you need to proof read a little bit more (sorry can't remember specifics...a few things near the begining I think) and maybe have a prologue to hook the reader, but it's a sound story that moves along and develops nicely. Very well done, deserves to be read by more people. Perhaps if you tried posting on a few of the scifi forums that'd attract some reviews.