|Reviews for Over Exposure to Biohazard Music|
| May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
Wow. I loved this poem. Intense. She became real to me.
| Violet Marx chapter 1 . 8/6/2006
I'm still mulling my thoughts over on this one, but I decided to comment anyways.
The only thing I've figured out yet is, nice rhyming, I like the beat. It's one of the poems that I like to read out loud because of the way the words roll of my tongue, and to experiment how they sound when they meet the outside instead of remaining bottled up in my head.
| Timpkins chapter 1 . 8/2/2006
Loved it, every word of it! It makes me think of a girl with unkempt dirty blonde hair kicking things and swearing. ‘Her hair is a different flavor every week and comes in a box prepared.’ Lines realy remind me of a friend of mine who dose die her hair nearly every week. The ‘She scribbles the liberties of teenagerson street corners and bathroom stalls,A Bill of Wrongs on the wallsand a Will for the throng who mightdie in the fight againstthe Age of Enlightenment and the law.’ Part was my favourite ‘a bill of wrongs’, seriously brill’!
| Aero Faerie Extraordinaire chapter 1 . 5/28/2006
Thank you for shamelessly plugging on your review of Emo Stalker. I'm glad I read this.
This girl is like all of my friends mixed together, with a bit of me in there.
I loved "she thinks she’s hell on wingsand she’s got a war to winbut no foe to overthrow."oh and "She’s got stars in her eyesand spikes on her pants to keep the guys out"
i love the rhythm in this. It flows wonderfully. awesomely creative and i love the chemistry references. "she's got a caustic tongue and an excess of hydrogen in her head".
I loved this poem, this is a summary of me and all of my goth-punk-rocker-chick friends.
| poet tree chapter 1 . 5/20/2006
The thing that struck me the most about this piece was the rhyming. Very very good.
The whole theme, actually, is good. I like it.
| drippingdreams chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
Chandra-Moon: Thanks ever so much for the crit (and the praise!). I was trying to figure out why I didn't like the last stanza, so I'm glad you told me that you didn't like it either - and better - that it's because the rhyming seems forced. I'll definitely work on that bit some more till I get it sounding more natural - I hate forced rhymes, too. Sometimes it's hard to see in your own work, though. :)
My favourite stanza is the second to last one, too. Actually I was thinking of your work when I wrote it. Dead serious. Because you have an amazing way of mixing poetry and science. XD So thanks for the inspiration.
| Chandra-Moon chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
You suck. Just kidding.
Actually, I think you are undiscovered talent on this site.
Not that this poem was perfect. I think you need to find the balance in your rhyme. Some of it was perfect and made a wonderful sound that made the poem so interesting and gripping to read, but some places came out sounding forced, which is something that annoys me and makes me cringe. IMHO, Good rhyming: 2nd to last stanza, bad rhyming: last stanza.
Speaking of the 2nd to last stanza, it was my favorite, I really liked it.
You did a wonderful job of showing this character without trying to explain or summarize her, she was interesting and inexplicable and funny and strange, all good things. Your write well, and you don't write boring or cliches or things that make me wonder if I've read this poem already.
So good job.