|Reviews for A Drinking Binge|
| bookworm925 chapter 1 . 4/20/2007
I am... amazed.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 9/8/2006
I like how you tried to get inside Ram's head while he was drinking. The passages were just rambly enough to make that work. I also like the character names. They're unique.
However, this story does need quite a bit of work. A lot of the phrasing in this is awkward, and I might attribute that to being from a different country and English not being your first language, but I don't know where you're from, so that doesn't really work.
Some of the words you use throughout this - "castigation," "chastisement," "tintinnabulation" - aren't words commonly used, and therefore seem out of place in a work of fiction dealing with such simple subject matter as binge drinking after failing a test.
I'm not sure if the ghost metaphor works. I can see what you're trying to do with it, but the whole metaphor seems a bit forced to me.
At the beginning, you use "it" a lot, and I've been told by writing professors not to use the word "it," to actually describe what "it" is. For example, you have the clause "It felt prepared for the coming exam," which we find out is referring to the class, but we shouldn't have to keep reading to find out who "it" is referring to. Use "they" in the place of "it."
Like I said, I'm not sure what your background is, so I'm trying not to be to critical, just give you a few pointers. If English isn't your first language, I'll understand that you were trying your best. Don't force your writing to be creative or use big words - be natural, write things how you would say things and your writing will be a lot better because of that. Keep writing! :)
PS. Thanks for your review of my story The Mole! I appreciate that!
| acid-tears chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
thanks for your review. I liked your use of metaphors in this. :)
| Amerilie chapter 1 . 5/13/2006
Nice ending! I liked it! I agree with you. Drinking is simply escaping from failures. Still, it's not the answer.