|Reviews for Curry|
| Carus chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
This was really beautiful to read. Well done on a lovely poem. Love the ending as well *Grins*
I would also appreciate it if you could review some of my stuff, as I would really love to get constructive criticism because I always want to improve. Most people just say stuff like I have above...I want something better than that to work from, lol. So if you could, that would be great, but don't worry if you don't have the time.
| Nemonus chapter 1 . 2/26/2007
I knew all of those references except 'ghungroo'. I suggest you put some sort of break between the explanations and the poem-I realize that the format got messed up, but as is it is abrupt.
The poem is pretty good. The Indian imagery and physical description give a cloying sense of, well, curry, throughout the poem, which obviously symbolizes your mixed feelings. You are quite good at evoking movement, as in "seeps into my nostrils and/slithers under my/eyelids;/twisting". You need puncuation at the end of lines such as " across my covetous eyes" and "glint with jealousy", which otherwise would be like ends of sentences conreting the ideas. The first sequence "The smell...across my covetous eyes" seemes a bit too long, conveying multiple imageries; perhaps it would be better as two sentences. As I said your imagery is good, very grounded, and this poem is strange, or unique. You excellently carry the theme of Indian glimmer and culture/religion through the whole thing.
| Lilac Ebony chapter 1 . 6/23/2006
you are a beautiful writer, damn it...(lol).
| Nine-Black-Roses chapter 1 . 6/4/2006
woah defintaley a most unusual title, which is of soudns like forbidden cravings that u cant really,well, quench. (do excuse the englsh.)like wantin sumone u cant have. the detail in this is quite unique and it goes. and ur ending is gd, how it suddenly stops flowin, like a wake up call.x
| the nonexistant chapter 1 . 5/28/2006
...blah, blah, blah... gross...
Okay, it was alright I guess...
Ur reviews are mean and ugly! Um, have no clu where this is coming from, sorry...
| Made in Britain chapter 1 . 5/28/2006
Whatever. This is weird and shit. I like it. Whatever! Like you, I was just diappointed by Fairy Dreamers's Poem, A Soldiers Prayer. I recommend you read the poem of the same name by Amanda Richards to make up for it.
| mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 5/27/2006
some very unique imagery. good work!
| Maddie Fyrce chapter 1 . 5/27/2006
Wow. That was fantastic. I loved how it flowed and how you incorperated Hindu and Indian culture and...wow, it was probably one of the best poems I've read on here. Going on my favorite stories list!
| Anaare chapter 1 . 5/27/2006
A interesting and beautiful poem, which I enjoyed reading. When I read it, it made me think of India, probably because of the words you used. Well done.
| happy heathen chapter 1 . 5/25/2006
I love the way you ended the poem!
| KingdomRain chapter 1 . 5/20/2006
interesting... i guess it was ok... loved the imagery though
| myheartwantsyou chapter 1 . 5/17/2006
while i think the poem is good i fail to see what it has to do with love. it's unlikable, it's a wonderful poem no mistake but...i find it to be very cut and dry so to speak, the creativity is there but restrained by the way it's supposed to be if that makes sense. also, your review, i appreciate the critism however, i meant the line you questioned to be left ot the readers interpretation as to the meaning, and i wrote the last line just as i intended it to be. my grammer is not the best i admit but that line was meant to be like that. your poem is very good if not lacking insperation. thank you for the review
| fairEtales chapter 1 . 5/16/2006
Oh wow. I absolutely love this. Wonderful imagery...love it. What are ghungroos? Anyway, thanks for the review. I'll try to use your advice...Lovely poem.
| searchdark chapter 1 . 5/16/2006
Very interesting, I like the heightened emotions of curry-loving to express so many ideas. I think my favorite line was when you used the word 'terra cotta' as a description-excellent.
| pure grace chapter 1 . 5/14/2006
I love your word choices for most of this poem; the way it's written (especially the imagery) is seductive jus reading it. And also I kind of think you've captured a facet of Indian culture (which I adore, by the way. It's so vibrant) in the curry and again, the word choice. I loved "twisting its long terra-cotta covered fingers" and "...draped in billowing reds and golds spun from the hearth that dances barefoot..." I just think those are beautiful lines. Well done.